Creating Lasting Relationships – Final .mp4: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Creating Lasting Relationships – Final .mp4: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Speaker1:
Okay. We’re live and thank you all for joining us. And this is intended to be a high value presentation on building relationships. Real quick. I’m just making sure that the live stream is up and running. You see, it had some warning message. So why do we want to do relationships? So most of us are in business and we’re thinking about having meaningful relationships to make more money. But I want you to go way outside of that and look at all these things being interconnected. So why you should want to make relationships should be more about just actually wanting to have the relationships and then the byproduct would be having a good business life or making money. And so as you think about that, when you go to work every day or when you run your business, what kind of an impact are you having in people’s lives? That’s what this should get down to, and we’re going to work through a whole bunch of stuff. And real quick, I’ll introduce myself. I’m David Boye. I’ve been a mortgage broker for the last I’m in my 16th year. I’ve lived in the Flathead for a little over 25 years. And I’m with Maria Phelps. She owns Black Diamond with me.

Speaker1:
She’s been in mortgage for seven years, and I’ll let her say more about herself later. And then just to show how much we care about other people. Daryl Hanley was going to be here and he is sick today and he’s so sick that he couldn’t like at this morning he was like, I can’t. So does everybody have their cell phone? I want to show Darrell how much we care. So whether you’re online or whether you’re sitting right here, I want you to go to your cell phone and I want you to put this phone number in. Don’t call him. Don’t call him. Don’t call him. We’re going to text Darel. So here’s the number I want you to put into your smartphone. A text to 4068908464. Yeah. Let me know when you got it. Does everybody need me to say the number again? All right. And then you say, Hi, Darryl, this is say whoever you are, e d a r e l and then just say we missed you and we look forward to following up with you when you feel better. But then hit send. He’ll get it from everybody all at once. So let me know when you’re done.

Speaker2:
And Darel has actually been a loan officer at Black Diamond now for two years. I think this this March. March would be two years.

Speaker1:
Yeah. And while you guys are typing that in, the reason Darel was going to give this presentation is he used to be a pastor for about 15 years. His job was having relationships with other people, so he’s very qualified. His last year of business was one of the best years of business we’ve seen in an employee at Black Diamond, and it’s because of his relationship skills. It’s not because.

He’s the absolute best loan officer in the United States. It’s because he has the best relationships with other people and he is a great loan officer. But the relationships is what we’re talking about today. So real quick, has anybody heard of Gary Vaynerchuk? If you know who he is, you should maybe go on his Instagram handle. He’s basically a social media influencer kind of guy. And anyway, one of the things that’s cool about him is he has figured out kind of the success about reaching other people. And I was just watching one of his things and he was he has my life legacy when you go on his website. But what he basically gets out there is that you need to know what you’re good at and you need to be doing that. And you don’t want to be like being fake. You want to be real with people. And one of the things he does really well is even on social media, he engages people. He has like millions of followers and he’ll you could like go and reach out to Gary Vaynerchuk and he might respond back to you with his millions of people that he and that has caused him to be like a social media phenomenon. And so the point is people think he cares and they also can tell that he’s authentic. And so as we go through this whole thing, let’s just remember authentic empathy and that you care and then you have something to jump in.

Speaker2:
Yeah. So, Gary, another thing that he emphasizes on is that people will also get mad and they’ll say some really bad things. But what his response is, hey, they’re paying attention to me. So he likes the response, whether it’s good or bad, because then what he’ll also see and what he has testimonies of is people’s lives are changing because of that. So initially when you’re out doing this and doing your thing and sharing who you are, you might get people who are more negative, but just know that you have a bigger, bigger purpose in that and it can actually turn out to be a really good thing for you.

Speaker1:
Yeah. Just all forms of engagement with another person have an opportunity to be a good situation for you. So just look forward to engagement any kind. So since we’re all in business, I want this to be beyond business. But the benefit of tying business into this is I just want you to think about an easy, tangible number of either three or 500. Get your comfort level, but you should want to have a meaningful relationship with 3 to 500 people who know who you are. And if you actually just do that one simple thing and they actually know you’re you’re about that. That’s what you’re good at. You’ll probably be provided for for the rest of your life. So as we walk through all this material, if you want to break it down to the simplest thing, you’re wanting to have a meaningful relationship with 3 to 500 people who know what you’re all about, what your what you’re good at. And so we’ll go through some stuff. But keeping it super simple, if you could call 3 to 500 people and get to know them well enough that they know exactly what your secret sauce is, then when they need that, they’re going to probably call you and that’s enough people to provide for you for the rest of your life. So simplest form of relationship building is that like be authentic and real and gain gain that knowledge with that many people in your set.

Speaker2:
And also 3 to 500 may sound like a lot of people, but look at your Facebook page. There’s a lot of people out there who follow you and maybe you should take a little bit of time and get to know them.

Speaker1:
Yeah, once you get started, like the idea is there’s probably quite a few people that already know you pretty well, maybe just refining with them and then gaining more. There’s a good way to look at. Let’s dig in a little bit. You have some notes in front of you or open up your folder if you haven’t. And we’re going to kind of run through some stuff just to help. And we’ll do a little interaction just to see if you can get the right answers. We have the right answers and they’re not intended to be hard, but creating meaningful relationships. You’ll see there are some blank spots on the sheet. If you’re watching online, you can grab this content. But the first one, Anne Marie and I will just go back and forth. The first one on there is a blank about people when there is nothing in it for you to gain. Does anybody know? Want to guess what the answer is?

Speaker2:
Yes. Right? Yeah.

Speaker1:
I care about people and there’s nothing in it for you to gain. And so people respond well if you care.

Speaker2:
All right. So blank your phone when people call you. Yes, that’s right. And blank after connections.

Speaker1:
And that one sounds easy, but there’s a mortgage broker. We’re in the mortgage business, so we’ll tie that to a lot of things. But there’s a mortgage broker that we follow that has been doing fantastic. He’s one of the top in the nation. His slogan is, Answer your damn phone. And because he believes that he makes more money in a lot of other mortgage brokers by doing that one simple thing.

Speaker2:
And it’s follow up after connections.

Speaker1:
So number three, blank notes about people.

Speaker2:
Take?

Speaker1:
Yes. So don’t rely on your memory and use blank to follow up with people.

Speaker2:
Reminders.

Speaker1:
Reminders? Yeah. And then leave blank in your schedule for last minute meetings and connections. Yeah. Make sure you make time for it. So be intentional about what you’re going to do about trying to get in in real relationship with other people.

Speaker2:
And just to I want to add a little bit to that is you really do. This is a totally different class, but you really have to time block and manage your time in order to do all of these things. So if you need help, like we do have some tools, we have a CRM that we’ll talk about later. I would highly recommend those things to help you keep track of all these connections. All right. Number four, practice blank. Listening to your relationships. Yes. Good. And then try to blink. Understand. I was going to say, awesome.

Speaker1:
Okay. Put Blanc aside and prioritize struggles and prioritize struggles your friends and clients may be going through.

Speaker2:
Yeah, that would work.

Speaker1:
That could work. We had put business aside, but that kind of is put yourself aside.

Speaker2:
Don’t always think you’re the most blink and blink person in the room. It’s important. Did you see these before? And knowledgeable would be the next one. And what I’ve noticed and that maybe you guys can relate when I’m having a conversation with someone, I actually really try to hear them talk and then I hear later from other people that they had the best conversation with me. And I’m thinking, I got like five words out, but that person loved that conversation with me.

Speaker1:
You only get the second half or oh.

Speaker2:
There is a segment I’m sorry, lead with blank and serve ahead of time.

Speaker1:
We’re all good.

Speaker2:
Humility. The people in front of you don’t always need you to tell them how good you are. And exactly. Ties in to listen to them.

Speaker1:
All right. If you’re too busy to blank, then you’re too busy. Sure. One person said care. Good. The. The one we had is too busy to listen, but I think they’re similar. Make sure you make time to listen because the point.

Speaker2:
So be blank with your time, talent and resources. People are truly touched by this.

Speaker1:
Intentional said that’s a good answer. Do you think? That’s pretty much the answer giving was said.

Speaker2:
Generous.

Speaker1:
Generous. Yeah. Number nine, be blank. People are drawn to blank, which I’ll give you a hint, is the same thing. So one person said authentic. I think that works for sure.

Speaker2:
It absolutely works.

Speaker1:
Correct answer. Positive people are drawn to positivity.

Speaker2:
Find the things that you share in the link with others. Arts, sports, faith or correct?

Speaker1:
Yeah. And this one. I’ll give you a quick example how easy that one is and why it works well. But so you’re finding something in common with other people. So in my world, I went to the University of Colorado Boulder, and there’s really nothing special about the University of Colorado Boulder. It’s a great university, whatever. But if somebody else says they went to the University of Colorado, Boulder, boom, we have something in common. And every time we run into each other, hey, go, buffs. You know, it’s like the easiest thing to connect on. So you can just extrapolate that as many things as you want. But when somebody has something in common with you, the bond is growing. And so those relationships are going to be better if you have something other than just your business or you want to make a transaction with somebody. So look for those things that you guys have in common. Every time you see each other, you can go to that. That’s why you want to know what you have in common with other people. Yeah. Tribe Absolutely. So when you mentioned Tribe in the audience, that’s exactly what we’re trying to do is connect, connect with the members of your tribe that are out there as you’re growing your 3 to 500 person tribe.

Speaker2:
So the next page we talk about benefits. So now I’m going to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m Maria Phelps, one of the owners at Black Diamond. And I’ve been working with Dave for just seven years now. And before that, I was actually in marketing. I started my own marketing company and that’s how I met Dave. And he said, If you ever want to get into mortgages, you’d be good at it. Well, now, here I am. Now, before that I had kids and college and all sorts of stuff. But how I’ve always connected with people is through my experiences and the things I like to do and I have a good example. Yesterday even I got a phone call from a client. I literally get this loan application, I get all the documents, every single thing that I have a full loan file. I’ve never heard of this guy before. He gets me. I get on the phone with him and I’m like, How did you hear about us? And he said, Well, I went to I went to Google and I was looking for a whitefish mortgage broker and you guys popped up. We have great reviews. I was like, okay, that’s great. But really the key, the reviews were great. But he loved us as people. Like he was like, you guys do exactly what my wife and I love to do and like, it’s great. And so I was like, Well, okay, yeah. I grew up here. I was born and raised in Montana, small town. I went to school in Whitefish and I went to college in Bozeman for a short period of time before I dropped out.

Speaker2:
That’s a whole nother story, but a lot of what we share is actually who we are. Like, I sell mortgages by sharing that I’m training for a half Iron Man. That’s how I sell mortgages. People are really drawn to that telling my story, my personal story. So the benefits you talk about this, it’s it’s free. It’s free to exercise this. You can talk about yourself and not in a way that you’re trying to shine a light. I get messages. I was actually sitting with Kelley having coffee with her like a month ago, and I literally got a message. We were talking about this and I got a message from someone who said, I love how you share your story. I’ve got health stories, I’ve got all sorts of stuff and I share it with people and I get a huge response. They’re thankful for that. So it’s an it’s a viral effect. So as so it’s a little bit about me, but it’s also a long term thing I’ve been doing. That’s who I am. I share who I am and that’s how I get business and I create relationships that way. And then of course you get repeat business. So again, I don’t sell mortgages, but I do sell mortgages. I, I share my life and people are drawn to that. And we have a full loan package, by the way, from a gentleman that likes what we do.

Speaker1:
Well, just to compound on the benefits of approaching relationships this way is ultimately in life, you want to be doing what God made you to do in this world. And so you have these natural gifts. And if you’re just talking about what’s going on and getting real with people, they start to figure out who you are. And so over time, you’re going to determine you might I mean, you might be in the wrong job or you might be in the wrong career. And the only way you’re going to flush that out is by being real with people all the time. And eventually you’re going to end up in the right career or the right job, and you’re going to be more successful once that happens. And so if you have your tribe, a 3 to 500 who know you, they’re going to help you figure that out. And so, like to compound on what you were saying, like sometimes I’ll even talk about I have a 17 year old daughter and every once in a while that’s not going that awesome. And I’ll just tell people like, Oh, the client or a person, I’m just next thing I know, we’re bonding on that. We’re bonding on the rough night dealing with the. Homework and and that ends up being good for business. And it also we’re helping each other. And so that helps you refine this type of stuff. So the benefits are in your own personal life, too?

Speaker2:
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker1:
Well, this was a quote for Darryl that he was going to say. So I’m just going to pretend like I’m Darryl for a second. He’s way cooler than me. But he says I, Darryl have spent many years as a pastor and church ministry, and all these years it became easy to build relationships. We have natural places where relationships happen for us. Who can you build relationships with? So, you know, and I could in my world, if I were to make the same quote, it would probably be mountain climbing, ski racing. These are some areas that I, I basically immersed myself in throughout life. So I have natural relationships in those areas. But there is a handout and power team. It’s called the Power Team. And if you guys want to just take a sec, see if you can jot a few of these down, you can finish it later. But I want you to think for a second about the ten most likely referral sources like people that you can make relationships with that might actually help you with your business or whatever. And then you can even do like the three best and then the three worst, you know? So it’s good just to think about it if you’re going to be intentionally building relationships kind of narrow down a little bit who you should be building relationships with.

Speaker1:
So we’re all using mortgage as an example, just to kind of give you like in our business, it’s nice for us to have good relationships with realtors. We’re dealing with the same clients, insurance agents, actually, bankers work well with mortgage brokers. We have a couple of people here from American Bank and Black Diamond Mortgage Bank there for years. We don’t have the exact same products. There are some products that American Bank has that we don’t have and there are some products that Black Diamond Mortgage has that American Bank doesn’t have. So we have a good relationship and sometimes it helps us to know each other as customers. So knowing your top ten is helpful because as you’re out there in the world and you’re seeing these people who are the ones that are the most attractive to to be building relationships with, it does help. I’m trying to think of who some of the worst ones are. Well, I.

Speaker2:
Have a few.

Speaker1:
Worse. Okay. I’m married. I want to do that because I didn’t think.

Speaker2:
Sometimes what you may think is that your friends and family could be the greatest. But actually, if any of my family is watching, I love you. It can be hard with family. It can be really hard. And I was the youngest of four and I have helped some of my family members with mortgages. But I get it. If they don’t want to use me or I have family members who don’t want me to know all of their bank information, I get it. So if you can just get past that, it’ll it’ll help you. If you go into especially a new industry and you’re trying to figure out how am I going to get new business, put your family aside, and even friends like friends. There’s a lot of people doing similar things. And especially in the Flathead Valley, they have a they have a lot to pick from. So that’s where you need to kind of steer the other way and like, okay, this is my friend, but they know ten other people that do the same thing. I can’t get mad at them. What I’m going to do instead is I’m just going to try to build more relationship with them. So maybe they do pick me, go have lunch with them, you know, stuff like that. But yeah, family and sometimes friends can be some of the worst.

Speaker1:
And then one way to help identify this as it comes business is just go with your top three customers that you’ve ever done business with and be like, Why were they the best? What did I like? And then maybe that is your top three group and that’s why you like them so much. And then likewise, who did you hate doing business with the most? Identify that because when you’re out there in the world dealing with people, maybe you don’t want to do business with 100% of the population. And so there’s a group of people that you’re just like, you know, when those people come around, you know, some people refer to people as like toxic people. If they’re toxic to you, they might not be you might just want to be like, okay, I’m not going to go try to build relationships with those kind of people, you know, and so know who they are so you can identify them and you just keep getting better at figuring out who who do you do want to be building relationships with in the some some of the relationships are natural places.

Speaker1:
So like you’re already going to certain things or going to church or going to the soccer games. If your kids in soccer, you’re going, you know, these are areas that are pretty natural and easy to build relationships in. And then some are a little bit more intentional. So sometimes some of the material that’s in this class that we’re teaching, I got from a group that I was in called BNI Business. It’s Networking International. It’s an international networking group where you meet weekly and you basically try to expand your network by meeting with other business professionals. So that’s not so much something that I would just be happening in my life, but I’m intentionally going to these meetings. Other examples of that are like chambers of commerce. You might join the chamber just so that you can make better relationships, a lot of other people. So those are ones where you’re going to put a little more effort into building relationships, and it’s good to list them all out just so that you kind of know where should you be spending your time and building as many relationships as possible?

Speaker2:
And some of the ones, just to throw a few more examples that I’ve been getting more involved with would be like fitness groups. I, I do a lot of stuff with my body and I can relate to a lot of people. So I might go for a run with a running group or with just a couple of ladies or for a hike or something. So it might seem uncomfortable at first, but I guarantee the other people that are in those groups feel the same way as you, so you might as well go.

Speaker1:
Okay, so we’re out there and we’re trying to meet other people, and so maybe we’re at a Chamber of Commerce Gone Fishing Party up in Whitefish, and here we are with some other person. We’re starting to talk. What are we doing? You know, like so let’s just get a little granular here for a second. What do I want to remember about somebody else if I meet them? And so just to give you a kind of easy stuff you’d like to know about their family, because everybody cares the most about their family. So the next time you see them, if you remind them that you remembered their family, that’s going to have a high impact on the way that they know that you remembered them. So kids, names, number of kids, what kind of sports they’re into, where they went on vacation last. You know, anything that comes up just as soon as you get away, if you can remember to write it down, it’ll help you remember. So when you see them, the next time you can, you can say, hey, remember when we talked about the trip to Disneyland and we’re going to Disneyland? Great. Now you’re bonding. Let’s go. Our University of Colorado buffs, here you are again. You know, but remember those things, places they’ve lived, what they’re the most interested in, where they work, where they used to work, you know, so as you build this profile on everybody that you’re getting to know, that’s going to give you the ability to to basically sound really empathetic and compassionate about them because you are you’re taking the extra time to know.

Speaker1:
I know personally there’s like business where you just go Costco, pick something up and you’re just kind of mindlessly doing business and there’s no relationships happening unless you happen to know the people on the other side of the checkout stand. Whereas compare that with when you’re doing business and you’re running into people and you’re, you’re also having the conversations about their life and that’s remember that, you remember that. And so that makes the relationships grow and it gives you guys something to follow up on, something to remember each other on. Because at the end of the day, if you have these meaningful relationships, this is the worst thing that I hate when it happens in my mortgage business is I’ve known somebody for ten years, we’ve talked about a lot of things and somehow they went and got a mortgage with somebody other than me and they actually say to me, Oh, you actually provide the loan for the house? And I’m like.

Speaker2:
What do you think I do?

Speaker1:
You know, but I didn’t they didn’t know what I did, you know. So I didn’t do a very good job of engaging them like they knew me and they, you know, so, so getting to know the people or that moment of decision came and they just forgot about me and they were online and, you know, some online thing got their attention and they just forgot about me. And so that’s my fault. I should be more actively engaged.

Speaker2:
And there is a fine line too, because you do want to share all that you do as a business and then personally to try to gain those relationships. But I do steer towards sharing more about my personal life and then I throw a little bit of mortgage in there because I don’t want people to forget that I also do mortgages.

Speaker3:
Each depending on the situation is like 80%.

Speaker2:
I would I would steer towards 80, 8020 is what I would do. I we’d probably have to look at national statistics, but I do like 8020. That’s probably a pretty good number.

Speaker1:
Is that 88 I’m sorry?

Speaker2:
Yes, 80 personal, 20% business because you do want to tell people what you do.

Speaker1:
So then this is a little later in our little note, but like this hat, this jacket. So I could actually only talk personal, but you might see my like so we’ve got an American bank employee here and he’s got his jacket on. So good strategy because we could talk about everything other than American bank, but it might still be in my head at some point.

Speaker2:
Or we have this shirt that says I love mortgages and I was at the locker. A room with a wave and a gal literally was like, I don’t love mortgages. Oh, yeah. And so it actually allowed us to get into a conversation. And I was like, Well, mortgages can actually be a really good thing. They can help you pay off your debts. I actually paid off my student loans with my mortgage. It was the greatest feeling ever. And so it engaged a conversation. So and plus it was a pretty blue shirt. Like, it’s actually a cool shirt. I should have wore it today. Darn it. You did that. You know, we actually are part of a national broker group and that’s like some of these shirts and stuff. There was a gentleman in there who is now in Massachusetts. They just moved, but another broker. We’re very friendly with other brokers in the nation.

Speaker1:
So I guess it wasn’t part of the presentation. But since Heidi mentioned it, be in your trade association and make friends with everybody who isn’t in your market, in your trade association, because in the last year when everybody was moving to Montana, all of our friends in the trade association from every state other than Montana was looking for a mortgage broker in Montana that they could trust, which this last year there was a lot of people moving to Montana and every one of these people and every one of these states, to them, Montana is just like a one off. They’re like, Oh, California business. And they’re like, Who’s in Montana? They’re like, Oh, they’re those guys from Montana, you know? And so it ended up being great for us that we made meaningful relationships in our trade association. So extra tidbit.

Speaker2:
There and also for women, I don’t like to completely separate. Dave will highlight this next. But it is important I’m a part of the the big network but then I’m also a part of the women’s mortgage network. And that’s important for me because there are some things that I want to ask that I don’t necessarily want to have a gentleman answer. I know they can help me, but it might be more sensitive and I need a more woman’s touch. So it’s nice to be a part. What’s that? Yes.

Speaker1:
Well, this is the perfect lead in to the next topic, which is so the guy that headed up the organization, B and I wrote a book that I’ve not read, but I already know what it says. And so the book is called Business Networking and Sex. It’s not what you think. And so right after that, you read one sentence and you pretty much get the whole point. But basically, men and women, as a general, I know we’re not going to hit this perfect. They’re a little different. And so engaging with the opposite sex as far as business and relationships as it pertains to, it’s different. And so I’ll give you a quick example because I just had this example, but I’m a guy, so I was hiring a plumber the other day and I was just basically looking for a plumber that could do the plumbing on my house. And when I found one, I hired him and we entered into a transaction together and it was great. That’s how guys do things. And so now that they did a good job for me, I’m like, Oh, who are these guys? I’d like to get to know them a little bit better because I’m a guy now, women, they kind of do it differently. So the general principle here is doing business with guys, do a great job on the first transaction, then build a relationship. That’s how they like to do business. Women build a relationship, then you get a transaction, you know? And so it’s basically good to know when you’re just going into business and you can look at it really easy.

Speaker1:
Like in the Flathead where we are, there’s actually a group called The Women Who Whine. And it basically, from what I’ve gathered, just watching as a guy, I’m a guy I don’t know anything about women, but they seem to want to get together and talk and have wine and get to know it, and then maybe they’ll do business together. But it’s not even you know, it’s more like what this class is about. It’s build a relationship first, then do business. But to be honest, for all the women out there, if you want to do business with guys, you know, go knock out a great transaction and then we’ll get to we’ll become friends later because that’s how we are. And I’ll be the first to say I’m very I’m very much like that. So I would like to see if you can do the business and then, yeah, who are you, by the way? You know, so it’s okay. That’s how we’re different. And so understand that if you’re at a chamber function and you’re talking to a member of the opposite sex and you hit their target point so you can build a strong relationship and, and and appreciate it because it’s there’s 50% of the population that you need to know. They like to do it the opposite way that you do. So you want to handle that?

Speaker2:
Yeah. How to help people remember you so well. We’ve kind of touched on a lot of these points, but we’ll just go through here. This is this is actually Darrell’s list. Darrell created this list. And again, Darrell’s business, how he built his business as a mortgage broker was through relationships. So and he did a really damn good job. So his points are really good. Be kind and engaging. That’s obvious, right? I also want to want you to think about if you’re at a restaurant that’s be kind and engaging. Do you get pissed off at the waitress because your food isn’t right or do you have some compassion? So every little moment like that can actually be a transaction or not? So just think about that in every little bit of your life, give them your contact info or business card, no brainer. How are they going to get a hold of you if you interact with them? They’ve got to know how to do that.

Speaker1:
Can I give an example? Bought a bought a house in a neighborhood and a lady came across the street to meet me because I’m one of her neighbors now. And we were just talking and I said, if you ever need anything, just call my cell phone. But you know, I gave her my business card. She’s got my cell phone number. So then we talked about the fact that I was a mortgage broker, but not because I was selling a mortgage. We’re neighbors and we just need each other cell phones. But why not have your business card with all the information on it?

Speaker3:
So if I don’t have my business cards on me, which I almost always do, but I’ll send my contact card. Yeah, yeah. And just text on my wall contact. And so it does have my life with my Facebook and my Instagram.

Speaker2:
Birthday, all these.

Speaker3:
Personal and business things as well. So your electronic business.

Speaker2:
And I think that is key to because I even I’m a firm believer on your website, if you have one, you should have all of your contact information, your social media links. Because when I first start talking with somebody, I want to know who they are and I go to their Facebook page or their Instagram like, Oh, who are these people? And so have that information available, whether it’s through a contact card or on your website, make sure they can find you, in fact, people with excitement about you and what you are about. Again, this goes back to how I sell mortgages and how Dave does. He goes skiing in the backcountry and many other.

Speaker1:
Things, but there’s always at least one other person out there and I sell him a.

Speaker2:
Mortgage. And again, I get I get messages weekly about people like, hey, thanks for sharing and or, hey, can you help me with this or that? Or just so share the excitement because other people the excitement is actually it’s like osmosis, like it’s infectious, ask lots of questions. I also said another example where if you let somebody else talk, ask questions, get them to start talking to you, it’s going to create a great relationship. Be real, authentic authenticity is seen as a strength. I absolutely love this, especially in our social media world. I’m sure you guys have seen like Instagram versus reality. Some people kind of have fun with that. There was this one I saw last night where a couple was trying to do this funny yoga move. And so they they did it perfectly. But then they showed a video of like the 50 times it took them to actually get it right, because that’s what it takes. Like. So look at your Instagram and just see like, are you being authentic and be vulnerable at the right times? And Darrell puts it as, this is an art many people don’t understand when the right time is to be vulnerable.

Speaker1:
And I’ll just say, like talking about even like mortgages or people or whatever. A lot of times I will tell people about really dumb stuff I did to give them that like they’re coming to. They want me to be like the best guy to get the finance from. And the but if we’re having a I might be like, you know, I did this wrong and I did that wrong and I this wrong. And so I recommend that you do this right. And by being vulnerable and telling them all the dumb things I’ve done, it kind of takes the pressure off of them to be ready to do the right thing and and maybe the right thing is hard. So they need to hear that it’s hard so that they can make the right decision. And then that builds trust to being able to tell people about all the dumb things you’ve done is an excellent relationship builder.

Speaker2:
Shared genuine compliments and encouragement. I actually want to challenge every one of you when you leave today to actually tell someone, Hey, you look great or Hey, you did a good job on this project or something. I challenge you because we don’t say it enough. We might think it in our head, but we’re not telling somebody like, Hey, you have a really cute outfit. I actually do love those pants, by the way, but it like it can actually change a person’s day. They literally could have had the worst night with their kids or their spouse and just you doing that little compliment. So I challenge you all and I want to hear about it. All right. Stand up for a cause you believe. In what ways are you serving and giving back? It’s got to be bigger than money.

Speaker1:
And a lot of people are scared of this part because everybody. If you take like politics and you’re like, Oh, I’m for this side, that means all the other side. If you do it in the right way, you can be honest about who you are at the end of the day. One of the things I think stinks about corporate America right now is it’s most big corporations are kind of fake, you know, like you can’t like they’re just so afraid to offend anybody that they don’t have a personality anymore. But you need to have a personality because people want to bond with you and you can bond with people you disagree with. You know, if you do it in a kind way like Maria was talking about. So like pick something that you are passionate about and let people know what you think and maybe you don’t pick politics. I’ll probably be the dumbest one to pick, but it might be like, you know, I this morning I was just scrolling through Facebook and there’s this girl that is apparently 19 years old and she has disabilities and all this stuff down on buildings. And they’re not letting her do her senior year of high school. And, you know, you can pick either side of this, but I decided to post this poll that I really take and say, let her do her senior year of high school, because I don’t understand why not.

Speaker1:
I’m okay letting people know that. I think that because I’m you know, a lot of people probably be like, oh, it’s cool. He’s compassionate. He cares about this 19 year old who can’t finish her senior year of high school. I don’t know. I just was okay with saying what I think about that. And if somebody disagreed with me, it’d be great because we talked about at the beginning of the session, here is like somebody that comes at you with the opposite point of view. That’s an opportunity for you to have a conversation with them and just be nice and be like, Oh, okay, now I see it your way. Good to know, you know. And so b b be visible because it actually creates something to remember. And at the end of the day, you do want people to know who you are and to you’re over the course of your life, you want to become the master of who you are. So it’s going to require that you be out there with who you are a little bit.

Speaker2:
Yeah. And then currently we’re actually you might have seen it a couple of times. We’re actually doing 21 push ups for 21 days for teen suicide awareness. We actually I don’t I didn’t tell you this. I’m going to make them help us do this. You don’t have to, but.

Speaker1:
You might have to push.

Speaker2:
I did say like that kind of stuff. But the reason I’m sharing it is because my family was completely impacted this last fall with suicide. And so I know that everybody, a lot of other people who are doing this, the 21 push ups for 21 days, maybe they weren’t directly impacted, but that’s like something I’m passionate about because I, I don’t want you to be impacted because it was definitely a traumatic thing for our family. And and again, we’ll I’ll probably make you do 21 push ups.

Speaker1:
If you’re down at the end of this presentation. We’re doing all right.

Speaker3:
I saw your Facebook post about that and I saw a few people saying, well, how.

Speaker2:
Does this make any sense? Is this. Yeah.

Speaker3:
So that just goes to the point that some people are not going to.

Speaker2:
Quite understand your point view, and that’s okay. I’m still going to do it. Can you put it out there? Exactly. No, it’s a really good point. All right. Represent yourself. Well, dress self care. Your your brand is yourself. So definitely that don’t walk around town in pajamas unless you sell pajamas maybe and then smile and be confident, but not arrogant. There’s a big difference. Confidence is key. We’re doing good. All right. Best practices in relationship building. We are going to kind of run through this quick because we definitely you have it written down, so we’ll just run through it quick. And then we want to have time for some Q&A. Complete every transaction in your business and don’t give up. Always do what is right before and after the sale.

Speaker1:
So I want to comment on that one. So in mortgage, sometimes the transaction is very hard. Sometimes the borrower doesn’t have good credit. Sometimes there’s something wrong with the house. Sometimes we have a lot of miserable people in the transaction, including our own client, trying to get them the house. And when I was new at the job, it used to really make me sad to put all that work in and then to have people like frustrated. And but what I’ve learned doing this business for 16 years is once you close, everything changes. So the moment that they get the house, they can’t remember how hard it was to get the house. So what I learned from that is no matter how hard it is and I’m talking if if if I’m a mortgage broker and both realtors are calling me, telling me I’m doing a bad job, the borrower is telling me that they’d like to fire me and they’re not happy anymore. If I can close, this is all going to change. And the thing that they are going to remember is that I got it done and that it was hard. So in a weird way, the worst transactions can sometimes be your best because after you succeed at it, now they’re like and so. So when things are tough, complete the transaction, whatever, no matter how dirty it is, and even if it’s your fault you’re doing a horrible job, fix it and then explain what happened and explain why you learned something, even if you have to be vulnerable like we were just talking about. But always close. Always close. If it can be done. Always close the deal. Yeah.

Speaker2:
Don’t try to immediately close the deal with someone you just met again. Build a relationship. We’re talking about that. Listen and ask questions. Talked about that. Play the long game, not the short game. I want you to highlight that.

Speaker1:
Sure. So play the long game is basically don’t kind of like you don’t always want to close the transaction fast or get a deal fast. So a lot of times people may not need your product right now and what they need is for you to tell them because you know all about what you do and you might be able to close a transaction for them right now that they don’t need. That’s a one transaction relationship in mortgage. We like to look at every mortgage customer as being potentially five or six mortgages. And the reason is, is because if you look statistically over somebody’s life, they’re generally going to have that many mortgages. Nobody wants to believe that everybody when they buy their first house and they take their first mortgage, like as soon as this 30 years is over, I’m done, I’m retiring. Well, then life happens and life keeps happening. And so the reality is, is from the age 23 to 50, you’re going to keep doing purchases or refinances until you get to the end of all that. And so I don’t have to make money on transaction number one or I don’t even have to do transaction number one. I just want to do some of the five or six transactions.

Speaker1:
And so I want to do the right ones and the ones that benefit the client. So looking over the horizon, every single relationship and understanding that I want to be in this relationship with this person for the next 25 years. So what do we need to do to build that relationship? And the cool thing is, if you do that consistently, we just had in mortgage like one of the best years that have ever happened in mortgage because all the perfect variables came together. You didn’t have time at that time to go find your customers. They’re just calling in. So all your life’s work was coming to the table at that moment. So everybody that you treated right eight years ago, ten years ago, 15 years ago, they’re like looking for the the one that they want to call this critical moment. And so that required over the 16 years, you were doing the right thing, which you might not know when it was going to pay you back for years. You know, and so just having that mindset that this is not all the success that you need in all your relationships doesn’t have to be today. It just has to be building the authentic, good, memorable relationship.

Speaker2:
Don’t be afraid to help people. If you’re not helping people maybe get a new occupation. Don’t be afraid of people. They need your help.

Speaker1:
Yeah, I think this is a good one. I’ll just add to is as you go through and everybody’s getting to know you and you’re getting to know yourself. The only way you’re going to be. Build in your career is if you’re actually providing value to other people. So as you get to know who you are and as everybody else gets to know who you are, you should at some point be providing that value. And so therefore, if somebody you’re scared to go get the business from them. Why? Because you’re the best at it. So why would you be scared to go ask them for the visit like they need you? So that’s that’s your target is the point where even if they don’t know, you know, and you believe in your heart that you actually are the best way for them to get this, that’s going to help you navigate whatever it takes to get from first meeting to a transaction is that you actually believe in your heart that you actually have the thing that they need. And so it’s a lifelong process, but it’s what you’re working on.

Speaker2:
And when you do have that real relationship, ask for a referral and don’t beat yourself up forever over a relationship that is going nowhere. And I will say that the story that I talked about, a gentleman that looked at our reviews online and was like, Yeah, you can have the best reviews. I, I strategically don’t send a review out to every single person that I do business with because some people just don’t want to do that or they’re just they had a negative experience about something, whether it was me or another third party person or just it took too long or something. I don’t like to to put myself out there. So as a business owner, be strategic about your reviews and and it’s okay if you don’t get one from somebody, it’s fine. Just be strategic because there’s a lot of people out there that love what you do. Not everybody is going to like it, and that’s okay.

Speaker1:
But if you hit a home run, then you need to make sure that you ask for a referral.

Speaker2:
Yes.

Speaker1:
Because they’re never going to remember it like they remember it right at that moment.

Speaker2:
Yeah. And that goes into never burn a bridge, kill a relationship, stay friends and properly categorize that relationship. Like maybe on the power team. They’re not going to be your best referral source, but you can still have connections with them.

Speaker1:
And living in the Flat Valley, I can absolutely assure you that with that bridge building, you are going to need to cross that bridge again at some point. So if you burn a bridge down at some point, you’re going to have to come back to that person and go, hey, it’s it’s the guy that burned the bridge down and told you, I never want to see you again.

Speaker2:
You’re am. And I’ll be honest with you guys. And I’m sure, Dave, like we see a lot of transactions and not every one of them is the same. Like, we see new stuff all the time and we’re not perfect, but we own up to it. And that’s what I want you guys to do. Just own up. If you make a mistake, own up to it because you will gain a relationship back. And it may be a couple of years later, but you’ll get that relationship back if you’re honest or if it’s meant, if it’s not meant to be. I get it. Social media do’s and don’ts. I’m not going to go over everything because you can go over my little cheat sheet that I have. But I do want to highlight there’s a few key things in there if you need help with like Facebook posting or hashtags, things that I’ve learned over the years that have definitely worked for me. There’s a lot of social media platforms. You have to find out what works for you. If you if you’re not a Twitter person, it’s fine. Like maybe your niche and your business is not there, but just find where your target audience is and really focus on that. And then I do want to highlight to your social media is literally like your resume. So don’t share photos that you don’t want your clients to see because they’re going to look at that and they’re going to be like, Oh, I was trying to get a hold of them on Saturday to get an offer written and they’re out partying on a boat and they’re not even paying attention, which is totally fine if you do. But just be careful with how you post it because it can affect some of your current transactions.

Speaker1:
I would say also and on that list, I think it’s probably on there, but do look at the social media stuff as like if you’re if you’re flinging a lot on there and nobody’s paying any attention to you, then self examine yourself like you might be offending everybody and putting bad stuff out. And so I see people like this all the time and I’m like afraid to like their post because I don’t want to get attached to them because they’re just toxic and they’re just flinging. And sometimes I’ll be like, That’s it. They’re they’re not going to be on somebody that I’m involved in a social media relationship because I don’t want to accidentally come into. So like, yeah, like use that platform. It’s a great platform. On our mortgage broker group, there are some people that say that their CRM is Facebook because they’re like, everybody’s there and I just like him. And you can literally like use the. Platform easily to engage a lot of people, but then use it for that. Like if you’re just on there to tell everybody what you think about politics, you might be wasting the opportunity for sure.

Speaker3:
Similarly, when we go to hire people, I will comb through. Yes, they’re social. And I’m like all the years party.

Speaker1:
Yeah. Yep. I’ve actually not hired people because of what I saw on their social media. Yeah. And I never told them either. I just looked on there and I was like, Whoa, we don’t need this around the office.

Speaker2:
Yeah. Timeliness. Be on time. If you’re going to meet with somebody or just as building a business relationship or you’re at a closing or whatnot, be timely. It definitely affects your your business at cards. Leave behind nametags. Some people think nametags are cheesy. We actually had name tags for a long time and it helps because people you meet a lot of people and if you’re at a networking group, I forget names. I have this problem and I’m going to be honest, I am. I have somebody walk into my office. I work with these people every day and I’m like, This is this is Dave, this is Zach. I just my brain, like, can’t it’s just this like thing that I have. And so a name tag is great. Accountability partner have a mentor or be a mentor. So I would think one of my mentors has been Dave. He’s been great in the mortgage industry, but then also think of big name people like who else I think of? Like Tony Robbins. Like he’s a great person to follow. Gary Vee, you know, like get some mentors that affect you in a really positive way because you are what you listen to and what you watch. So if you’re just looking through social media, you’re probably not getting the best. So listen to podcasts, read books from people who have been there, done that, welcome new people. Be a host, not a guest. Be very welcoming. That’ll really help you.

Speaker1:
Can I jump on now? So this is a common thing that people do that I want to point out, because you can really increase your impact on what we’re talking about today. If you do what I’m about to tell you and you don’t do what I tell you not to do. So when you go to a gathering, most people go find the two people that they already know and they start chatting it up with them and they milk the whole thing and then they leave and they literally just wasted an hour of their life. So their boss said, Go to the Chamber of Commerce thing. They go there and they go talk to the one person that was there that they already know. They brought zero value back to the office. So be the one that goes and finds the person that’s in the corner that doesn’t. Nobody’s talking to them and go find out who they are and then do this relationship building with them. For one, they’re going to appreciate it. And for two, your your goal is to expand your network. I was actually at a white fish chamber event the other day, and everybody was doing what I was talking about, everyone in their little circle talking to their usual people.

Speaker1:
And there’s this guy standing there in like a white t shirt and he looks completely out of place. And my wife would kill me if I was wearing my white t shirt. But he’s just standing there and he’s buff guy, and I just go find out who this guy is. I walk up to him and well, it turns out he’s building houses everywhere and he’s just off work and he’s there. He’s got a he’s got a ton of value relationship. And, and I was just like curious. I didn’t know who he was. Like, he could have literally been a guy that walked off the street. He’s actually a hardworking construction guy that’s succeeding like crazy. And he just happened to be at the chamber event and forgot to put his uniform on or whatever he should have done. But it ended up being a meaningful conversation for me. And, and so I was like, cool. I went back to the office and he knew some of the people at the office and and I was like, glad that I went out of my normal way of doing business and met the person that everybody else was not talking to.

Speaker2:
So and then at train practice, prepare and be well polished, go to classes like this and also teach classes like this. But I do want to emphasize that you don’t always just want to keep learning. You do need to practice that learning. So don’t just sit there and read and learn without actually doing it. Tracking who has a CRM customer relationship management systems.

Speaker1:
Awesome couple.

Speaker2:
Suite. What platforms do you guys use? Salesforce. Okay. Okay, cool. So we use Zoho. It’s a great system. So what you have to do is like, look at what your business needs because there’s tons out there. I listed a couple I’ve seen some people use like Trello or Asana Nimble Capsule Monday, but any of those just find one that works for you. And Salesforce is pretty robust. Zoho is pretty robust. I’m not as familiar with Pipedrive, but check them out and keep track of your clients.

Speaker1:
There’s probably two different generic kinds out there. There’s kinds that you can customize and there’s kinds that are more built to do it for you. I think you just need to figure out who you are, right? If you’re not the type that’s going to program it, then take like a salesforce, for example, and use it the way that it was built and it’s designed to make you successful. And it’s a very good program. And then the one that really likes Zoho, it doesn’t have anything. When you get it, you have to program it.

Speaker2:
Yeah.

Speaker1:
So, so ours is that way because we have all these custom needs and we just, we just want it to be our way. But Maria spends hours programming it and then we use it and it works great for us. It’s pretty cool. But if we weren’t going to do the programming, we would probably use a one where we pay amount for it. And it just all you got to do is put the data in there and then it produces a results and you got to know which one you’re going to use because it’s a complete waste of time if you’re not going to use it.

Speaker2:
And then we’ll end on schedule real time for this. So relationship building like how are you managing your time every week? Are you spending actually who has an iPhone? Because your iPhone, I don’t know if Android does it, but your iPhone actually tells you how much screen time you’ve done. And I get a report every week if my screen time was up or down you that. Yeah, but like, really, you should manage your time, like, block out time. And I, I’ve been getting into a better habit of looking at the next day and feeling out, okay, what should my task be? My priority. I need to block out these times. Put it in your calendar like our calendar is full of stuff. Zac is really good at this. He blocks out even client calls to make sure he doesn’t miss anything. So really get your time management down to a fine tee because I think it’ll really help you guys.

Speaker1:
Does anybody have a question about anything?

Speaker2:
We covered a lot.

Speaker1:
Um, all the material that we just talked about is available, and we’re going to put this up on our website so you can grab the material, you can watch this. And if you do have a question you forgot to ask, I want to share this information. This whole relationship building thing is real. If you’re here or you’re watching this and you want to spend more time going over stuff, then I want to meet with you and talk to you about it.

Speaker2:
Yeah, you can actually call or text us at 4068624999 and we are open book. We will share whatever you guys need, whether it’s a loan related thing or social media thing like we want to share with you guys. We had a question, so awesome. Thank you. Is this the first iteration of this and.

Speaker1:
Kind of what’s your plans in Boston? I see.

Speaker2:
Go. Yeah, no, that’s a really good question. So we actually do a class monthly last month we did a couple of classes. Actually, we did. We’ve done construction. We did a first time homebuyers class, April 20th. We’re working with Joe Cocoa, who is amazing. He’s a great leader in our community. He was in the military, so I grew up as a military brat, I guess. I don’t think I was a brat, but my dad was in the army and I learned a lot from my dad, so I’m excited to learn from Joe Kolko. That’s April 20th and we’re going to meet at his office at eight May. We don’t have scheduled out yet, but we will have something for me as well.

Speaker1:
So we are doing classes. This class is this class, but we’re trying to add value in different areas monthly. So definitely look at our website. You can watch anything that you don’t attend and then every month you can come to something.

Speaker2:
And yeah, yeah. And if you’re here, I have your email. I believe if you didn’t sign up and you just showed up, let me know and I can add you to our email and make sure you get the next class. I try not to send too many emails, but I do want to make sure you guys know what we’re doing. So.

Speaker1:
So we’ve got the hour filled. What are you guys going to do after this?

Speaker3:
Set up Trello.

Speaker1:
Set up Trello. How many relationships are you going to form over the next couple of years? Meaningful. One.

Speaker3:
Three, five.

Speaker1:
Yeah. Why are you going to provide for your family with all those people who know what you’re the best at? All right. So, yes. All right. Well, thank you, guys.

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