Stephanie Breck – From Addiction to Fitness

Stephanie is with us to share her story about alcohol addiction, being and Attorney, a 53 year old influencer, and Swimsuit Competitor! Hear her story about her struggles and triumphs. She shares how she got into fitness and how it led her to sobriety. Also hear some behind the scenes into the fitness world and some of her past including sexual abuse. I guarantee you will learn a lot from this episode!

 

 

 

Speaker1: [00:00:01] All right. We are here on the Super Fast Lane Woman podcast, and I have Stephanie Breck here. And you know, the reason I reached out to you, Stephanie, and to be on the Super Fast Lane Woman podcast because you’re a business owner and you are into fitness, which is very cool and it definitely resonates with me. So thank you for coming on today.

Speaker2: [00:00:24] Thank you for having me.

Speaker1: [00:00:25] And being a part of this podcast. And really the goal behind this podcast is to empower women. And I see you doing it every day on social media. It’s very cool. And you know, the first time meeting you today was actually pretty cool because I’ve been wanting to for probably a year now.

Speaker3: [00:00:42] At least.

Speaker1: [00:00:43] Wanting to meet you. Now, the other thing that we have a little bit in common, so business owner, we’re into fitness. The major thing is alcohol. And I did want to open up with that because we have addictive personalities. And I think that was really what drew me to you is your you’re very open about your addiction. And so I just I want to ask you about that, open up with that. And how has addiction played into your life with alcohol and now kind of pivoting that around to fitness?

Speaker2: [00:01:21] Yeah, well, it’s it’s kind of interesting. I have struggled with alcohol, you know, from probably I would say 18 on I, I made it through high school without really drinking or doing drugs or anything like that. But as soon as I went to college, everything went awry. So I struggled with sobriety for decades, really. I would go through and I’d have periods of time where I was, you know, sober for two or three years at a time. And then I would relapse and then I’d be gone for a while, a long time, and then come back around. I could never really fully get it. But this last period I’ve been sober now for about six and a half years. It’s the longest period of sobriety I’ve had, and it coincided with a decision to get into fitness, truly get into fitness. And so they go arm in arm. For me, I had a what I call a spiritual awakening because I, a friend of mine, had invited me and this would have been six and a half years ago. She invited me to participate in her, this little fitness group thing she was doing.

Speaker2: [00:02:42] And it was, I’m sure you probably familiar with Beachbody. Yeah, right. And so she was a Beachbody coach and she was going to have her challenge group online challenge group, and she wanted to invite me to be in it with her. And at the time I was, you know, like 100 and I was probably like £180, £170, you know, like I definitely had weight to lose, but I kind of blew her off. And then I, then I changed my mind and I decided to do it. And I was still drinking at the time. But I decide it for what? For whatever reason, I decided I was going to do that and do the workouts and work on my nutrition even though I was still drinking. That was a new decision for me because in the past, you know, it’s either it’s all it’s black or white. I mean, they’re all in or I’m all out. And in that, I decided to kind of do the gray area and just say, I’m going to start doing these things to take care of myself, even though I’m not taking care of myself.

Speaker3: [00:03:40] You know, over here.

Speaker2: [00:03:41] And ultimately, I reached a decision. I was at a stoplight and I had had a discussion with my husband about I’d shown him a picture of this gal, Lauren, who’s an amazing shape. And he’s like, well, you’re going to look like that, too, right? And when he said that to me, you know, my normal reaction to something like that would be like, Oh, well, you don’t love me the way I am. And, you know, being all offended and stuff. And for whatever reason, I just kind of laughed it off. So a few minutes later I was driving and I was at the stoplight and I thought about it and I thought, Why did I laugh? I asked myself that, why did I laugh? And I heard a voice in my head, I’m not crazy, but I would say it was God talking to me and seeing. He said, Because you don’t believe. You don’t believe that you don’t believe it’s possible that you could look like that. But all I heard was it’s because you don’t believe and it was like a like flipping a switch because then I suddenly realized, well, if I believe that I can look like that and I can have that level of fitness, then all I have to do is do what she’s done or follow the direction of other people. It’s no different than the 12 steps, right?

Speaker3: [00:04:58] So kind of like you.

Speaker2: [00:05:00] You follow with the people who’ve done it before you and have what you want. If you do what they do, you’re going to you can have the same result to. You’re not special. You’re not different. You’re not unique. And I was I thought I was very unique. Special, but apparently not. And so it only took me a couple of weeks after that to apply that same concept to sobriety, because I’d always thought that I was never going to be able to have a sober, happy life. I thought that that was for other people, and it wasn’t that. I thought I was better than other people. I thought it was worse than other people and that there was no way it was going to work for me. But same thing if I just do what the people who’ve come before me have done and follow their direction, I’m going to have that sober, happy life too. And so those two things just come together. And I’ve been known to say that I wear my sobriety, right? I it’s my body.

Speaker3: [00:06:02] You know.

Speaker2: [00:06:03] This work that I do on my body is very much a part of. Sobriety. And really it’s a part of learning to love myself like self-love because I wasn’t good at that and I still struggle with it. I think a lot of people do. But anyway, that’s kind of the little.

Speaker3: [00:06:22] The story of getting sober.

Speaker2: [00:06:24] And having the fitness go with.

Speaker3: [00:06:26] It.

Speaker1: [00:06:26] Yeah, that’s really cool because I had a similar experience because I had started I have an autoimmune disease and I started getting I got really sick and I tell people this and they kind of don’t believe me, but I literally could barely walk around the block. But I was utilizing alcohol to numb some pain. But I was we had this track of healing and I knew what was going on and it was a slow process. But then I started getting into biking and trying to do longer bikes, but also drinking a bottle of wine every night and realizing that gray area, like I was in that gray area and like you can’t do both. But very similar thing where I just like, you know, I do believe for me it was God that was saying like you you have to believe that you can be pain free and not rely on alcohol. And it was literally like a flip of a switch.

Speaker3: [00:07:19] Yeah. And it was, it’s.

Speaker1: [00:07:21] And it’s not like that for everybody, but it was definitely for me.

Speaker2: [00:07:25] Too. No, I used to hate those people that had a meeting and they’d be like, Oh, the desire to drink has been totally lifted from me. And I’d be like, Screw you like.

Speaker3: [00:07:34] You know, because it was never.

Speaker2: [00:07:36] That way for me, you know? But but thankfully, you know, the desire to drink has been lifted and it just requires that daily self care and self awareness, which I’m sure we’ll be talking more about.

Speaker1: [00:07:51] Yeah, for sure. Well, you talked about college and. Well, how old are you?

Speaker2: [00:07:57] I am 53 years old. I just turned.

Speaker1: [00:08:00] Okay. When I when you told me that, like you do not look 50.

Speaker3: [00:08:05] Thank you. And I will be posting a picture of you looking can make sure we.

Speaker2: [00:08:10] Take a picture.

Speaker3: [00:08:10] Before. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely.

Speaker1: [00:08:13] Now how you’ve kind of actually already answered it. How do you compare how you feel now, physically and mentally now compared to 20 years ago? Because you would have been, oh, my goodness, 33.

Speaker2: [00:08:25] Yeah, 33 and a complete disaster at the time. I feel very different obviously, than I used to. I have a level of confidence, I think, that I never had previously. One of the things that I didn’t mention, but I think is really important just for an understanding when I talk about my past or different struggles I’ve had is that I was sexually abused as a child and I had a few different perpetrators. And so and that’s about that’s the only level of detail I’m going to give. But, you know, that kind of stuff just impacts everything about who you are from the time it happens forward into up till today, you know, it’s still affecting me. And so as a as a kid, I was very self conscious, didn’t really feel much self confidence, never really felt good enough. I had some bad coaching experiences. I was a competitive baton twirler.

Speaker3: [00:09:35] Oh yeah.

Speaker2: [00:09:36] But I mean, I like went to state nationals and like stuff like that, like it’s a thing, you know. And so, but I had some really, really bad coaching experiences. And just so finally, I feel like in the last few years with a lot of therapy too, I’ve been doing a lot of a lot of therapy this past year. I started doing EMDR and that has been really good for me. But my level of confidence and how I feel about myself and whether I’m good enough or not, I think age helps with a lot of that stuff too, but the work does too. So yeah, I’m a much stronger, more confident person. Even when I’m going through hard stuff, you know, it’s still. I’m way better off than I was. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:10:28] How long have you been married?

Speaker2: [00:10:30] We’ve had a married for. Let’s see, it’s 20, 22. So we’ve been married for 22 years.

Speaker3: [00:10:35] Wow. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:10:37] We always get married on not even year like.

Speaker3: [00:10:40] 2020 or no. Yeah, late.

Speaker2: [00:10:42] 2000 we got married.

Speaker1: [00:10:43] So that’s cool.

Speaker2: [00:10:45] Yeah, we’ve been together for 25, so.

Speaker1: [00:10:48] And do you guys have any kids?

Speaker2: [00:10:49] Yeah, we have one son, Wyatt. He’s 16.

Speaker3: [00:10:54] I have a 16. Yeah. Yeah, that’s so cool.

Speaker1: [00:10:57] Yeah, well, and I. You’re talking about, like, maturity. Like, I look, because we’ve been married, my husband and I, almost 17 years, and we were young and.

Speaker3: [00:11:07] Yeah. And suggest that.

Speaker1: [00:11:10] We have different arguments now. But it’s totally we still have silly arguments but the maturity and I just I see it also, you know, you have 16 year old I see my 16 year old, my 12 year old and I, I have to remember like I was that age once and they’re the things they say are just like, wow, I, I’ve grown a lot.

Speaker3: [00:11:33] I still have a lot of growth to do well.

Speaker2: [00:11:36] And how much we think we know that age is so funny. Now when you look at them and they think they’re spouting off how they know everything, I’m.

Speaker3: [00:11:44] Just like, Oh my goodness, and how they.

Speaker1: [00:11:46] Want to move out. And you’re like, Okay, you should stay living with mom and dad as long as you can, unless you’re 40.

Speaker3: [00:11:52] I don’t want you to be living.

Speaker1: [00:11:53] With me when you’re 40, but now kind of spinning that just a little bit. You talked about the fitness and and really one of the things that again drew me to you was the the fitness aspect of it, because that was life changing for me. So I want to hear how you got into fitness competition.

Speaker2: [00:12:14] Okay. So let’s see. So I started with Beachbody and Lauren like I was seeing. And so I ended up becoming a Beachbody coach because I had good success with their programs. But one of the things I did as a Beachbody coach was I went to their big they have a yearly event, you know, Coach Summit or whatever. So I went to that. But when I went, I went and watched this thing called the Beachbody Classic, and it’s like a bodybuilding show pretty much the same, except that it’s just people who’ve had success with beach bodies programs. And I went and I saw it and I was like, I’m going to do that next year. Like I want to do that. So I got on Beach Bodies program called Body Beast, which is was made for men and it’s all men in the video. So it’s easy.

Speaker3: [00:13:09] Guys. But, but I started.

Speaker2: [00:13:14] Training with that and that is what really gave me my base in weight training. And because it’s a, it’s a great series that teaches you from the ground up, you know, how, how to train. But I will say that in my twenties, my very early twenties, late teens, early twenties, I had an interest in bodybuilding at that time. I used to buy all the magazines I used to work out at the bodybuilder gym like I was way into it. But what I sadly like, my drinking career.

Speaker3: [00:13:45] Took over, right? And so I got.

Speaker2: [00:13:48] Away from it. So I think when I was doing this with Beachbody in My mid-Forties, I just it rekindled.

Speaker1: [00:13:55] That, right?

Speaker2: [00:13:56] So that was my first event that I went to. And after that I decided I wanted to compete in a real bodybuilding show. So there are a lot of different federations out there, but I chose the National Physique Committee and pick, which is the best. It’s the golden standard, right?

Speaker3: [00:14:19] It’s the highest level. Right? So I’m like, screw all those other ones. I want to go to this one, right?

Speaker2: [00:14:24] Because I always want to be in the best or whatever. Right. And yeah, and I started and I stopped. I was awful my first.

Speaker3: [00:14:33] Time I went on stage.

Speaker2: [00:14:36] Well because I didn’t I didn’t know I hired somebody that didn’t really coach competitors and he don’t he’d been a competitor once. And so yeah, I mean, I made these mistakes initially, so I showed up to my first show. Not competitive at all, not lean enough, but I did it. And you can do that and you can go and show up and be like, This isn’t what I want to do or I never want to do this again. Or you can say, I’m on fire. I want to get I know I want to be better. Yeah, right. And that’s what happened to me. That’s cool. So, yeah.

Speaker1: [00:15:12] Now you’re and you’re an attorney as well. Yeah. Like that. So when I think about your drive to be successful in fitness, every attorney that I know has a drive to be successful as an attorney. But what I also see, and I don’t know if it’s similar in the attorney world, but if you’re a because I’m a mortgage broker, we kind of have this joke at the office, but it’s very it’s almost like, I would say 95% true. You’re either a Christian or an alcoholic. As a mortgage.

Speaker3: [00:15:44] Broker, do you feel.

Speaker1: [00:15:46] That there’s a little bit of similarity as an attorney because that’s a high stress.

Speaker2: [00:15:50] Job? Yeah. I mean, well, first of all, I am a Christian alcoholic.

Speaker3: [00:15:59] So I can not.

Speaker2: [00:16:02] You know, I’ve always had a pretty high standard for myself. As an attorney and even in law school, you know, my initial like my first year of law school, the first semester, I mean, it was so difficult and I was drinking initially at the beginning of it, but I will push myself through things and hold myself to standards even in the midst of addiction like that, you know, and still.

Speaker1: [00:16:32] Relate to that.

Speaker2: [00:16:34] Yeah, I’ve always tried to maintain a really high level of professionalism in what I do as an attorney, but I wasn’t carrying any of that over into my my health and fitness because really, I hated myself. Right. Right. And so, you know, I put on the persona and the attorney hat or the mom had or the wife had or whatever and be that person. But in the background, I couldn’t stand myself. So I wasn’t taking care of myself right at all.

Speaker1: [00:17:05] And you’re probably exhausted because you you’re doing good as the mom, wife, attorney, and then you basically didn’t take care of yourself. You didn’t have enough energy. And.

Speaker2: [00:17:16] Yeah, well, and I just I mean, I just made choices that are self sabotaging, really, or hurting myself. And so and I mean, I have to be on guard for that all the time, even still, you know, because it’s in my nature. And again, I think that’s something that’s driven by that abuse past, you know, that you learn to hate yourself. And so it’s a constant battle of, you know, doing loving things and being self aware of the real reason why you’re taking particular action.

Speaker3: [00:17:52] Right? You can say, Oh.

Speaker2: [00:17:54] Really, I’m just rewarding myself or I’m taking a break. Really? Or Are you.

Speaker1: [00:17:57] Sabotaging yourself.

Speaker2: [00:17:59] Because I have to really watch.

Speaker3: [00:18:00] That?

Speaker1: [00:18:01] Yeah, no, I agree. I just I thought it would be good to point out the attorney aspect of it because. Yeah, every single attorney I know, like you, you have, you have to do a lot to even become an attorney. It’s not a simple task. And no, there’s like, legalities. I mean, there’s so much that’s put on your shoulders.

Speaker2: [00:18:23] Well, it’s you’re you’re dealing with some very high stakes things that they’re not your they’re not your problems. There’s somebody else’s problems, you know? But it is it’s very stressful. But I like there are certain aspects of it that I really like and there’s other aspects I don’t I don’t like, but.

Speaker1: [00:18:45] Similar in mortgages.

Speaker3: [00:18:46] For sure. Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:18:47] I think we could all Yeah. All relate to.

Speaker1: [00:18:51] That. Oh for sure.

Speaker3: [00:18:52] Now I, this is.

Speaker1: [00:18:56] More of a question for me, but I’m sure other people have this question because I am a little intimidated by fitness competition. Like I, I think it’s cool. And I actually have a sister in law who used to do it in the past and it’s, it’s cool, but I am super intimidated because I have no idea what happens. So what is the lifestyle like as a fitness competitor?

Speaker2: [00:19:21] Let’s see. I’m trying to think it’s I mean, you have like what we would call like like I do some coaching of people. So, you know, you have lifestyle people that you coach and then maybe there are competitor people, you know, there’s those are two separate areas. And I don’t coach competitors, but I do because I don’t I’m not I don’t have that level of expertise. I don’t think at this point you probably can’t.

Speaker3: [00:19:50] I could probably.

Speaker2: [00:19:51] I mean, could I could I put on the hat and do it? Yes. I just don’t feel that I have.

Speaker1: [00:19:56] But maybe with.

Speaker2: [00:19:57] A few more years. Yeah. In the.

Speaker3: [00:19:58] Future for.

Speaker2: [00:19:59] Sure, because it actually is what I would prefer. But one of the most important things for my lifestyle clients, and it’s the same for a competitor, is learning to figure out what works for your body food wise and exercise wise, what works for your mind and your body and figuring that out. And I call that kind of figuring out your fitness blueprint, right? You know, so what’s going to work best for you? And so that really as a competitor is just you have to do that, but then it’s amplified, right? Right. So but as a competitor, just generally, to get back to your more general question, if you decide that you want to do like a and be called a physique competition or bodybuilding because there are different divisions and in these different competitions. And so I’m going to just explain those briefly.

Speaker3: [00:21:00] Okay.

Speaker2: [00:21:01] For women you have because most people, they think like female bodybuilder and they see like these women that are. Gigantic with like steroid, huge muscles. You know, that’s what people get in their mind, right? And they’re like, oh, I don’t want to weight train because I don’t want to look like that. Well, you’re not going to, right?

Speaker3: [00:21:17] Right. Believe me, you’re not going to.

Speaker2: [00:21:19] Unless you do take a lot of steps to get there. Yeah. So but women’s bodybuilding initially started, you know, with, you know, women that didn’t look anything like that. They were just muscular. They’d been working out, you know, they were beautiful. They were in like late seventies, early eighties, nineties, like you can see back then. But it’s evolved over time and now you have several divisions. So you have bikini the bikini division, which is the lowest level of musculature. Then you have figure, which is a next step up. So it’s more musculature. You have a focus on a different your back, your ex frame, they call it, you know, but it’s still very symmetrical, right? Then there’s women’s physique, which is bigger, but still a lot of symmetry. And then women’s body building is is the biggest.

Speaker1: [00:22:13] Gotcha.

Speaker3: [00:22:13] Right?

Speaker2: [00:22:14] And now we have a new division called wellness that is almost like bikini on on your upper body, but it’s the lower body is much larger and more muscular. And it created that for because there’s a lot of women who are naturally have more muscle on their lower body, they have bigger quads, they have bigger glutes. And those women were trying to force themselves into bikini, right. By not training their legs or figure, you know. And they were trying to fit in these categories.

Speaker1: [00:22:44] A.

Speaker2: [00:22:44] Natural. Yeah. Not fitting their bodies or not fitting what their, their minds and how they wanted to train. And so so wellness is around now too.

Speaker1: [00:22:54] So cool that they’ve created that to kind of yeah. Really cater to a lot of different yeah.

Speaker2: [00:22:59] And South America and like European I think over there they had wellness for quite some time and just in the United States is just come in the last couple of years.

Speaker1: [00:23:07] So what do you compete in?

Speaker2: [00:23:09] I compete in bikinis on the lowest level of Moscow.

Speaker1: [00:23:12] Gotcha.

Speaker2: [00:23:13] And I’ve had people suggest, you know, you should move up to figure. But and I had that decision to make after my 2020 competition season, I really had to decide kind of what I wanted. Did I want to build way more and try to get up into figure or did I want to try to perfect bikini? And I decided to perfect bikini because it was just I just, you know, I didn’t want to do what it would take to put the kind of size on right. For figure that I would need to be competitive at a national level. At a local level, I can I did do figure and I did okay. But I want you know, ultimately I want to be a professional bodybuilder. I want to win the professional status. And I’m not going to do that in figure.

Speaker3: [00:24:04] Right. So I just figured I’ll.

Speaker2: [00:24:07] Just I’ll just stick with Bikini. And I really worked very hard, gained muscle. But also when you do that, you know, you have to gain some body fat. And I spent the time doing that work and it’s paying off so far this year.

Speaker3: [00:24:24] That’s cool.

Speaker2: [00:24:24] So yeah. And one other thing I wanted to say about the lifestyle, because you would ask that is there’s contest prep mode or season, your competition season and then there’s what’s called some people called an off season. We like to call it an improvement season because if you’re serious about it, you’re the lifestyle never ends. There’s not you don’t just do a, you know, diet for 16 weeks and go to a show and then you get then it all goes away. Right? Right. So, I mean, there are a lot of young women, a lot of women that you see that compete. They you know, they do the diet for 16, 20 weeks, 25 weeks, whatever. And then they do the show and then they just.

Speaker3: [00:25:11] Lose it and they eat.

Speaker2: [00:25:13] And they eat. Yeah. And they gained 25 or £30 in like two months. I mean, because your body is so primed for it, you know, I mean, so your improvement season or your off season can be a real disaster to death. So I really I try to talk in my social media about that process. Because your post shows that time post show is so important. But anyway, so there is a division of talent when you you work on gaining muscle and eating more and then, you know, cutting body fat and going down.

Speaker1: [00:25:49] Because our bodies like can’t do the show prep like.

Speaker2: [00:25:53] All the time. I can’t look like this all the time, right? There’s no way my body fat is probably so. I had a measured a few weeks ago and it was 10%. It’s like it’s not then I can’t sustain.

Speaker1: [00:26:04] That totally and I can relate. Doesn’t need.

Speaker3: [00:26:06] To.

Speaker1: [00:26:07] Yeah well I’m like that’s what I have a coach to for triathlon. And I actually had somebody tell me today because I competed in a half Iron Man two weeks ago and she was like, You need a break, you need to take a break. And I’m like, No. I mean, I’m like easing up for the month of July and then I have another competition at the end of October. Yeah, I got to get back going like I’m in a, you know, it’s different. Yeah, I’m going to then slow down a little bit but then I’m in a ramp right back up. Yeah, because I can’t hold what I did two weeks ago forever, but I am still going to get back there. But I’m not actually taking a break because. No, it’s like you can’t if you’re at a level where you want to do well. Yeah, it’s different than someone who just wants to do it.

Speaker2: [00:26:52] Yeah. Like if you just want to go and you want to. I had a coach previously and she’s not my coach anymore, but she would refer to it as a hobby. This is a nice hobby. And I remember when she said that to me, I thought something clicked in my head and like, this is not a hobby. Hobby for me. Like this is a thing for me. Like I want to win. I don’t want to just do all this work just to go and collect a plastic trophy, like.

Speaker3: [00:27:16] That’s not why I do this.

Speaker2: [00:27:18] And so, yeah, it’s, it’s a, it’s a full on lifestyle, like you just said, for you to, you know, you have your moments where you’re extremely focused and disciplined and obsessive, really. And then there are times when you can take your foot off the gas a little bit, kind of regain.

Speaker3: [00:27:37] You know.

Speaker2: [00:27:37] Some energy and recover because our bodies need to recover. Absolutely. And then hit it.

Speaker1: [00:27:42] Again, ramp it up because when’s your next competition? You said in a couple of weeks.

Speaker2: [00:27:45] I have one. Yeah. On the the 23rd.

Speaker1: [00:27:49] Because you like made like the Nationals or something.

Speaker2: [00:27:53] I went this last show was a national show and I got second place in my, my height class and my age and that’s I was won one place away from winning the professional stuff.

Speaker3: [00:28:06] So I was like.

Speaker2: [00:28:06] Yeah. And I was some people are like, Ah, so it’s awful. You missed it just by whining. I’m like, I’m so happy with the placing. I really don’t care because I didn’t win.

Speaker3: [00:28:15] You can just keep going up. Yeah, you got room.

Speaker2: [00:28:18] It’ll happen. You know, it’s just as long as I stay focused and keep showing up. And, you know, that’s kind of the thing about bodybuilding, though, too, is that it’s very there is a criteria that they use, but it’s also subjective. Right. And so any show you show up to, you could win first place or you could get last place. It depends on who shows.

Speaker1: [00:28:39] Up, right?

Speaker2: [00:28:40] Oh, sure. Competition. You know, it’s so dependent on that. And so, you know, you just you never know as long as you’re showing up at your best. And that’s good. You just see where the chips fall.

Speaker3: [00:28:54] Absolutely.

Speaker1: [00:28:55] I think that’s great. Now, when we’re talking about the lifestyle with the fitness and I guess my biggest question is how do you not get into the weeds with disordered eating? So I have a history of eating disorders and I, I don’t believe that it happens to everybody. But I think even as a triathlete, it’s easy for me to look at the scale, look at the numbers, and look at how I’m doing and then be like, well, wait a second, I was £2 heavier during that race. I maybe that’s why I didn’t run as well. Or like I or I was £2 lighter and I didn’t run as well or I ran. Great. Now I got to keep losing weight like it’s it’s an addiction that could potentially happen. Yeah. So how do you stay out of the weeds with harming your body or and also, like, how do you do it? But then how would you encourage others who want to do it as well?

Speaker2: [00:29:58] Yeah. And like I was saying to earlier, I see in in the bodybuilding the contest world, right. You see people come in and they either you see women who develop eating disorders because of the sport and then they blame the sport for it. Or I see women come in who had eating disorders and are healed by this process of contest prep and learning. And part of it is truly learning that food truly is a fuel for. Getting to where you want to go. And I don’t say that like, well, food is fuel and we shouldn’t have any emotional attachment because that’s stupid. Of course, we’re going to have an emotional attachment to this thing that we do six times a day or whatever. Right. Food is very fulfilling, but I think for someone coming into it, the key is, again, like I said earlier, figuring out a diet based around foods that you love and that are good, you know, they are good choices for you. I hate it when people say like, Oh, I’m doing keto and I hate eggs and I hate this. And I’m like, Why are you doing it right?

Speaker3: [00:31:14] Like, you don’t.

Speaker2: [00:31:15] Have to eat eggs if you don’t like eggs or whatever.

Speaker1: [00:31:19] It is, you.

Speaker2: [00:31:19] Know, like, but people get it in their minds that you can only lose weight a certain way. I mean, it’s just so far from the truth. So for somebody coming in to, you know, newly who wants to be competitive, my tip would be if you want to come in and do shows, you want to hire an experienced coach who is a contest prep coach. They are not a trainer at a gym. They are not a nutritionist. They are not any other person other than someone that actually preps people for contest. Write it and then make sure there are really good ones so you know you want to do your research. Another tip is to learn how to eat using macros. So by, you know, carbs, protein and fats, you know, you do someone gives you your macros, your coach gives you your macros. That to me is a way better way to go about it that you can either do that or a food plan. So so say your coach says, okay, you’re going to have a half cup of rice and three ounces of chicken and some green beans, you know, for these three meals and then say, you know, they tell you what to eat. I think macros is way better because it enables you to have more flexibility. So you don’t feel so trapped in.

Speaker1: [00:32:38] It, right? Like if you need fat, you can get it from.

Speaker3: [00:32:41] Coconut or whatever. Yeah. Peanut butter steak or your meats.

Speaker2: [00:32:45] Exactly. Like you’re just tracking it. And so that’s a really that’s been very helpful to me in the last this last almost two years.

Speaker1: [00:32:57] So really a coach is.

Speaker2: [00:32:59] Like I think the coach is probably one of the most important factors in getting a really good one because there are a lot of coaches out there who are handing out cookie cutter diets to every single person and saying, Here, do this, eat this, 1000. I had a client come to me who she showed me what she had been doing was this other quote unquote, coaches, Herbalife or something? I don’t know.

Speaker3: [00:33:23] They were like with some.

Speaker2: [00:33:25] Network marketing company, right. Who had gotten women to believe that they could go and do these little shows and they would follow. They’d charge them to use their products and then they give them this diet. But it was like 1000 calories a day for like months.

Speaker3: [00:33:41] One pill does not solve it. No.

Speaker2: [00:33:44] So you want to make sure you have somebody who really knows what they’re doing. I mean, that’s that’s the key. And can somebody prep themselves for a show and do it? You can. You know, but even if you did that, I’d suggest that you definitely get online and you learn as much as you possibly can about the process before you put yourself in it. Because you can do damage, right?

Speaker1: [00:34:08] You know, no, I think it coaches key. I hired a trip coach last summer and it has changed everything because I have the tendency to over train. I would have absolutely overtrained. I would have probably got injured and she’s really helped me. Like having a coach has been life changing because it’s accountability too, because you’re going to have bad days, you’re going to have good days and then you need rest stays. And she helps me with those kinds of.

Speaker2: [00:34:35] Absolutely.

Speaker1: [00:34:36] And otherwise I would be in trouble.

Speaker2: [00:34:38] It’s another set of eyes to like for what I do. Like I sent my coach pictures this morning and there comes a point when you do this kind of sport that’s so visually based like that or it’s, you know, that you don’t even you don’t even see your own body. Right. Anymore, maybe that’s body dysmorphia.

Speaker3: [00:34:59] I think, you know, sometimes there’s.

Speaker2: [00:35:02] Some of that. Definitely you’re definitely going to struggle with that if you’re a physique competitor. Like if you do this, you’re going to struggle with that where you don’t see yourself realistically. Right. And so but I sent I looked at my pictures this morning. I’m like, I think I’m looking a little soft, you know, but I’m paranoid. He writes me back and says, These pictures look great. Increase your carbohydrates to 200 today. And I’m like, what? Like, like so but it’s he’s right. He’s seeing it differently than I’m seeing it. And one of the I mean, for for an undisciplined person, it is so hard to follow direction sometimes, right? Because we think, well, that couldn’t.

Speaker3: [00:35:43] Possibly be right. I’m right. I know it’s my body, but but yeah.

Speaker2: [00:35:48] So forcing myself to follow his direction is sometimes that’s hard.

Speaker3: [00:35:55] It is hard either. But I do it. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:35:58] There’s been times too where I’ve like had an extra workout and I’m like, dang it. Because I, my next workout is then crappy and I’m like, Why? Well, because I did this extra workout. And so just follow the plan. I got to follow the plan. Yeah. Well, so this actually do you have anything else you want to share with everybody about the fitness piece of it? Cause I’m going to ask a few more questions. Yeah, quite. Fitness.

Speaker2: [00:36:27] Just this. I was going to say one more thing that’s really important to keep in mind in this coach actually really helped me understand this and see it in my life, especially at my age, which is 53. Right. But even at your age, 39, I think the the focus on recovery is so important. You know, I was I was training six days a week doing cardio, you know, a lot of times on top of that. And he ended up cutting my my weight training down to four days a week. And at first I was like, oh, my God, how am I going to do? I’m going to lose my muscle. I’m going to do this and that. It completely changed everything. And we did it in my off season or my improvement season. So that and what I found was I just had so much more energy and I was so much more mentally hungry for the actual workout. But I got way more out of my workout quality because I was actually fueled and I was actually rested, you know? So sleep and taking time, not overtraining, makes a huge difference. And I think it really would in an endurance sport.

Speaker1: [00:37:36] Oh yeah. So it’s been.

Speaker3: [00:37:37] Key.

Speaker1: [00:37:38] Yeah, that’s been hard for me because I do have a tendency to overtrained, but I’ve also got some absorption issues, so I’ve had to do like blood work to make sure that I’m absorbing. And if I don’t do it right and if I’m having a little bit of a gut flare, then I race. It’s taking me two weeks to recover from my race before now. I’ve learned a lot through that process and realizing like, if I go into a race again, I actually have pulled out of races because I knew that my body there’s something wasn’t right on my body. Yeah. And I’m like, nope, if I race today, I’m not it’s not going to work. So I’ve had to do that. Like recovery has been huge because I look at my 16 year old, he runs track, he runs quick, 400, he’s fast. And I’m like, How do you feel today? Like he had a track meet the day before and he’s.

Speaker3: [00:38:31] Like, I’m fine. I feel fantastic. I’m like, Oh man, I would be sore. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:38:35] But yeah, as we age, our recovery is super important. Now, I guess maybe my last fitness question now as you’ve age, do you feel like building muscle has been harder for you? Because I do. I do fear that I’m 39. But I do know that when you look at studies, it is harder as you age to keep building muscle and also bone density, things like that.

Speaker2: [00:38:58] Yeah, I, I haven’t really struggled with that. I would say. I mean, as you age, women, women think too, it’s always funny as women think, if they start weight training, I’m going to get bulky. So you are not going to get. Nobody is getting bulky right around here. I mean, maybe genetically there’s a very small group of women who put on muscle really easily, but that’s a pretty small, small group. Most of us are going to work really hard to put on a pound or two of lean body mass in a year. You know.

Speaker3: [00:39:36] That’s hard.

Speaker2: [00:39:38] And so I don’t I have put on muscle every year. I do like one of those in body.

Speaker3: [00:39:45] Scans.

Speaker2: [00:39:46] So I can see what I’ve done. But I think it doesn’t matter what age you are, if you’re fueling it, right? Right. You have to eat in order to grow like women. Women want to starve themselves and be skinny or tiny, but then they say they want to grow muscle, but they don’t want to eat. And it’s like you’re not going to grow muscle if you’re not eating. So you have to be willing to accept probably a softer body during that time period where you’re going to be really building muscle and then you can cut somewhat to be able to show that muscle. You don’t have to cut as extremely as I do necessarily, but being leaner. Is what displays muscle. And sometimes people don’t understand that, like I’m in my off season, it’s like, where did your muscle go? Well, it’s all there.

Speaker3: [00:40:42] It’s just it’s just a little hidden.

Speaker2: [00:40:44] So but I think any woman, any age, I have a friend who’s 70, and she just started competing just last year. I think she’s 70. She’s gorgeous. I mean, just and she’s she’s able to put on muscle. You just got to do it right.

Speaker1: [00:41:00] That’s great. I love hearing that. Yeah, that’s really great because and I feel like as I’m 39, I’m getting stronger and I’m like, man, when I’m 45, yeah, I’m going to be pushing.

Speaker3: [00:41:12] Yeah, this is going to be great. Yeah. You didn’t train. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:41:17] Now, we’ve talked a lot about what you’re doing, and I guess now I want to know about three pivotal moments in your life and how they have propelled you forward.

Speaker2: [00:41:32] And I thought of these a little bit ahead of time. I would say pivotal. When I think of Pivotal, it’s like you’re pivoting, you’re changing direction, right?

Speaker1: [00:41:41] So yeah, like, for example, for me, I dropped out of college. It was very hard for me in that moment, but now I look back. I am really glad that happened. I had to go through that experience. Yeah. So yeah, something like that.

Speaker2: [00:41:56] Yeah, for sure. I would say my, my first like really pivotal moment I would in my mind is my decision to go to law school was a big deal because it was something that I had never. I had never thought about as a kid. I didn’t grow up saying I want to be a lawyer or anything like that. I was graduating with a criminal justice degree just because I liked it. I enjoyed that and that was what I chose, but I hadn’t decided what to do afterwards. And so I decided to go to law school and I took the LSAT, which is like the entry test, and I did well enough and I got a partial scholarship and once went to Willamette University in Oregon. And so that was like my first breaking away like truly from my parents. I’d worked for my parents for years, but so there was that having my son was a very.

Speaker3: [00:42:58] Pivotal.

Speaker2: [00:42:59] Moment in my life because it was like the first time where it’s like, you know, you actually have to think about somebody other than yourself.

Speaker3: [00:43:06] Oh, you relate to that? Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:43:10] So suddenly you’re not the most important person in the world anymore. And so there was that. And then this last time of getting sober, I think that that was just that was just completely life changing for me. And it really was just that mindset shift that I talked about and, and then the coinciding of the fitness with it. Like that combination just, just worked for me and. I just like when it comes to addiction and alcohol and these things, I know people say I’m crazy or say I’m wrong and it’s fine, but I really I think alcoholism. I do think there’s genetically something that makes us react differently or our bodies react differently. But addiction overall in general, for me personally, I had to stop thinking of it as being a disease like I just could not that was not working for me because it kept me sick and it kept me blaming the disease for things when really it was my own decision making and my own choices. So when people say addiction, you know, it’s a disease, not a choice. And I’d have to say that for me, when I stopped seeing it as a disease and looked at it more as a choice I was making. That’s when I got that’s when it worked.

Speaker3: [00:44:37] And I think.

Speaker1: [00:44:37] That’s an important point because it doesn’t work that way for everybody.

Speaker2: [00:44:41] Right. And that’s better for somebody else another way.

Speaker1: [00:44:44] Right. And that I can relate exactly, because that’s how it happened with me. But I do know other addicts where it was not like that. And that is I think the biggest struggle with addiction is that it’s so different for everybody.

Speaker2: [00:44:59] Well, and it’s just not this rigid framework. Like people want to fit it into this super rigid thing. Everybody’s the same. Everyone’s going to react the same. There are people that get sober by, you know, just through their church and they go and their relationship with God. Great, right? No. But there will be the naysayers. The 12 step book thumpers are going to be like, no, well, that’s just not real sobriety. Or they’re just you know, it’s like, you know, and I’m not I’m not dissing AA whatsoever. I respect it. I go to meetings. I you know, all of that. But it’s not the only way, you know, there are lots of ways for people. So yeah, so that was definitely a turning point for me and I’ve just continued to work on that self care aspect of that and learning to not. I have to live in that gray area all the time. I cannot have myself. And I say it’s a continuum we live in. Normally it’s a black and white. You’re either I’m I’m amazing, I’m perfect or I’m a piece of shit. Right. And it’s just these two ends that were always bouncing in between. I’m like, I have to. I had to learn to live in the middle. And that’s been. That’s how we do it. Perfectionism, I think, drives so much addiction and so many bad problems and just getting older and realizing nobody’s perfect and we all don’t.

Speaker3: [00:46:26] Know what we’re doing. You know, none of us know what we’re doing.

Speaker1: [00:46:31] I think like learning from other women especially is because there’s been a period of time where I, I was personally like threatened by other women seeing other women successful. I felt like I wanted to be there, but I could never be there. Imposter syndrome. Yes. Imposter syndrome all the way. And I’m now in a leadership role. And like people like just today, like, you’re a miracle. You’re a miracle. I’m like, I’m not. But then I’m like, wait a second. Like, I do have a story to say. Like, somebody is telling me that they’re inspired by my story. That’s great. Yes, I have to accept that. But as women were so easy to be like, oh, you’re being too nice. Like, Yeah, just try and like, No, I’m not good enough for that. But we are. We’re so good enough for that. We are and we do. We just. And it happens quick 30 seconds. You’re living in a high and then all of a sudden you’re like, my life sucks, right?

Speaker3: [00:47:33] Yeah.

Speaker2: [00:47:33] And I think, too, that we’re a fearful of being too confident. Like, it’s, like, feeling good about ourselves or like me going into a show thinking, you know, I have a really good shot here. I look great. I’m amazing. You know, this has been it, you know, having that confidence. We’re afraid to even state it sometimes or even embrace it or feel it because then we’re afraid that makes us arrogant or overconfident or whatever. And it’s like I just we just have to let go of that and accept, you know, that we are.

Speaker3: [00:48:08] Pretty great right now and we’re doing great.

Speaker2: [00:48:11] And be happy for other women. Yes. And and I’m I’ll acknowledge, you know, sometimes there are times when I’m super happy to be supportive of other people. And I’m thinking of hitting like.

Speaker3: [00:48:24] On Facebook, you know, with my thumbs.

Speaker2: [00:48:26] But I and there are other days when I see a friend or somebody pulls something and I think, you know, you get kind of that little like, oh, well, who does she think she is? And then I’m and I think I don’t want to, you know, but I do I make myself do it because I should be. That says something about me. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with me feeling crummy about myself or what I’m doing. So it’s like we should always be making an effort to support other women who are trying to be great. And I yeah, a lot of women are tearing each other down, which it’s a bummer. Yeah, I can’t get into that.

Speaker3: [00:49:05] So we’ll just keep talking. We’ll just get support. Yeah.

Speaker1: [00:49:09] Now, you kind of touched on this, and I don’t know if you want to dig in a little deeper and maybe, maybe you haven’t touched on this, but what is your biggest struggle growing up and how is it defined you today?

Speaker2: [00:49:21] Yeah, I would say that definitely the impact of the sexual abuse that I dealt with was probably the biggest struggle that I had, even though in my childhood I probably as a child I didn’t see it like that. I just saw it as not feeling good enough or, you know, not having these good relationships. But, you know how it I mean, it affects that kind of that kind of trauma from your past, affects you as an adult for the rest of your life. So I still you know, it impacts my relationship with my husband, you know, and but I look at it and I think, would I change it? I mean, yes, would I change having had to have gone through those things. Yeah. But at the same time they make me who I am and they’ve, they’ve formed, I don’t know, parts of me that are good, you know, that really are good and that are helpful to other people and that make me far more willing to be authentic and transparent and share those things openly with people so that they can maybe see that there’s a chance for them or for healing or hope. I always encourage people. There’s always hope, like no matter what. Like you have to you have to know that there is always hope, no matter what. And if and I was going to say earlier to if I post something online that’s very personal. Sometimes I post it and I think, Oh God, what have I done? You know, I’ve over shared, I’ve put this out there, but if I just get one person that says, Oh my God, I needed to hear this today, thank you so much. I’m like, My job here is done. So when we share authentically about what’s really going on, you can really have an impact on other people.

Speaker1: [00:51:27] You absolutely.

Speaker2: [00:51:28] Can. And encourage them to get better and then have an impact on other people.

Speaker1: [00:51:32] Exactly. So that’s why I share what I share, because I get messages, I get calls, I get people saying thank you.

Speaker3: [00:51:40] So, so amazing. Well, then you get.

Speaker1: [00:51:43] The imposter syndrome and then you’re like, well, no, like I am because I am. I’m sharing my story. And because women people need to hear that. And I am very open with my eating disorder past because that is a pretty it’s a sensitive subject for people. Yeah, I’ve had parents reach out to me and I’ve had conversations with their kids because they’re like, I don’t know how to how to handle this. Right. I remember when I was dealing with my bulimia and my my dad didn’t know how to help me. And that’s okay. And as as we talk about, like, all these aspects of life, like you’re not going to know how to talk to everybody about everything but what you feel passionate about. You need to share it because you may just you may hit one person. You may help change their life.

Speaker2: [00:52:38] No, it’s true. And the fitness stuff is great. And I know I inspire people tell me that all the time, but I find I get more satisfaction. And really, I think I make way more of an impact when I share about the drinking and abuse and the things that people don’t really don’t want to talk about.

Speaker3: [00:52:59] You know.

Speaker2: [00:52:59] Are they they’re thinking about but until they see me talking about it openly, then it’s like, Oh, okay, I can acknowledge this. So yeah, I think the deeper we share on that stuff the better.

Speaker1: [00:53:13] Because people are listening and they need to hear it. They’re on social media all the time and they need to hear the struggles that we’ve gone through. Yeah, because it gives them hope for sure. Definitely. Thank you so.

Speaker3: [00:53:28] Much. Yeah, that was pretty absolutely welcome.

Speaker1: [00:53:31] Super fast, lane. Woman I could totally talk to you all day.

Speaker3: [00:53:36] I.

Speaker1: [00:53:37] I definitely have learned a lot.

Speaker3: [00:53:40] So much. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker1: [00:53:42] I hope other people. I’m excited. This will be live probably tomorrow and we can share it.

Speaker3: [00:53:47] Yeah, that’ll be.

Speaker2: [00:53:48] Awesome. Thank you so much for sure.

Speaker1: [00:53:50] Well, thank you. And, yeah, we’ll talk again soon.

Speaker3: [00:53:53] We will. Yeah. All right.