When you have a million food restrictions and have come to peace with it….

Okay, I’m not trying to ‘bitch’ here but sometimes I want to scream. (I actually just wrote that first sentence for effect)….

I seriously love how people are concerned about my health and worry about me. I truly have some amazing friends. And my family is absolutely supportive of my problems…..but here is the thing….if you have read any of my posts, or watched any of my videos, you should know that I am okay with it.

I am okay with it because of my family, my amazing friends AND, the understanding that if it wasn’t me, who else would I want to throw this burden on?

NO ONE!!!

I wouldn’t want my kids to deal with it, my husband, my friends, my co-workers, my extended family….oh that neighbor kid across the street….or my nephews and nieces, brothers and sisters!

This ‘problem’ was bestowed on me, to fight, and I am fighting!

BUT, I do want to educate those around me on how they can learn from it and grown from it.

You see, it isn’t about the ‘burdens’ you carry, it is about allowing God, to carry those burdens for you.

When I first really started having issues with food, it was very frustrating. I literally couldn’t eat anything. I was weak, in pain, and unable to function properly. It took years to fully understand what was going on with my body and then once we found out what was going on, it has taken a long time to fine tune what causes problems more than others…..and then it changes again…

I sit at home, on a Friday night, everyone around me enjoying a bowl of ice cream…but what does my daughter say? “Mom, I’m so sorry you can’t have this…”. I SCREAM inside because she is taken the burden on herself, but she doesn’t need to. It is already taken care of. So I politely say, “it’s really okay Abby, I am not really in the mood for ice cream anyhow, I’m okay”.

It is so hard for kids to understand (actually, it is hard for adults to), but please understand, during the process of healing you have to go through a lot of emotions and pain in order to figure out what is right and what is wrong. It is similar to what alcoholics have to go through (believe, I know), the ups and downs of success, then failure, just to have success and failure all over again.

BUT, there is a breaking point. The breaking point for everyone is different. It can turn out really bad for some people and really good for others. I feel blessed because my breaking point has been hard, but it has definitely been good. My breaking point what’s the day I decided this…..

“If I am going to hurt, feel sick and be in pain no matter what I do or eat, then I am going to start doing the things I love again….because if I am going to hurt, I might as well be loving life, while I am hurting.”

And that changed everything…..

I realized in a very short time following that I didn’t need the ice cream to be ‘happy’, I did’t need to eat the junk food to be happy, I also realized that I used to love physical activity but hurt so bad that I had to stop. So I started back up again. I felt exactly the same way for months…..it was in the months following that changed me.

I am telling you this because I want you to understand something. We all have our own problems and issues. We all have disease and sickness or pain and suffering. But it was bestowed on you, it was bestowed on me, and there will be more bestowed on our loved ones. We don’t know why things like this happen, but I tell you what…..think about asking yourself this question: “Who else should carry this burden”, If you are any human being with a heart, I guarantee that you wouldn’t want the burden that is bestowed on you to be placed on someone else…… It’s a hard truth when you are dealing with pain, but YOU were put in the path of ‘that’, and there will be good that comes out of.

So yes, I have come to peace with the many restrictions that I have, and maybe me just writing this little snippet is all I am meant to do in order to help just one person. I am thankful for what has been placed on me, and I pray that you can think of your problems as a blessing just waiting to happen. You never know who will read your story next.