When you in the midst of dealing with the ups and downs of an autoimmune disorder or other chronic illness (sometimes we call these flairs), it becomes very frustrating as there is often no consistency… That is the frustrating part…the frustration of a Chronic Illness….
Today is one of those frustrating days…
For the last week, my system has not been doing the things I need to be 100%. However, I have been dealing with the side effects of Sjögren’s Syndrome for a while now and I have learned how to function even when I am in pain. It’s a sad truth, but I have had to learn how to ‘fake it till I make it’ which is something I know a lot of people with chronic illnesses have to do.
But this week has been different. Lots of things going on at work with training a new employee and our pipeline is booming…. We are also just finishing up the Tires for a Change fundraiser/campaign (head to tiresforachange.com to learn about that)…my uncle also passed away on Thanksgiving and that has not been a fun thing to go through…..With all these things, I have actually been able to get everything done and mentally feel okay. I was even able to workout consistently and just yesterday did my first swim training for my future Triathalon…..
But why am I sitting here on a Sunday morning and in pain…..because autoimmune diseases and chronic illnesses are affected by everything going on in our life, unfortunately.
There is no rhyme or reason to my pain. There is no consistency to my digestive issues and I have no way of telling you ‘why’ today is the day that it ‘hit’ me. What I can tell you is that we all have the capacity to allow our down days to be great, or to be terrible….. I choose to keep going even though I am in pain and maybe that is the reason this week has been so productive. I have been too busy to ‘think’ about the pain….and too busy to just sit and ‘feel’ it. Instead, I keep moving forward but that is what I know how to do. I can’t fix the pain and make it go away. My nerves in my legs are screaming right now and the pain shoots to my toes…and my body is not digesting and hasn’t this entire week….
BUT, I am not going to let that stop me from being productive today. Yes, it is frustrating. And yes, I did end up sleeping in today and will likely not get my cycle workout in today, but that is okay…. I am listening to my body and continuing to move forward. It is not getting me down.
So if you suffer from a chronic illness, believe me, I feel your pain. I am sorry you have to go through and I am sure your pain is way different and likely worse than mine. I will pray for you. What I do know is this: through all the frustrating times, I will keep moving forward no matter what. I will not let this hold me back from my dreams.
If I am going to hurt, I am going to do what I love and hurt. Because either way I hurt. And I would rather be happy hurting than sad hurting. I challenge you to try this mindset. Even if it only lasts an hour. It will change your life.
So today, I am going to skip my morning cardio workout because I know my body is okay if I miss and maybe I’ll feel better later…. but I have a full day of church, Christmas shopping and podcast interviews to do and I am not going to let my pain interfere with my dreams and goals.
You can do it do it!
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