Today, I have the privilege of interviewing my sister, Sara Hammel, and she is the first ‘interviewee of Super Fast Lane Woman!

Sara is a wife, mom of 4, women’s boutique owner, speech language pathologist, homeschooling mom AND public school mom, middle child, wonderful aunt, sister and daughter….as well as a powerful influencer in our community.

Today, Sara talks about how she has always strived to keep moving forward. How she focused on her goals (and still does), to accomplish her Master Degree, RUNNING A MARATHON, moving her family across the country, thinking she wouldn’t ever home school to actually doing it, and then turning her part time boutique into a full time reality!

Sara has a lot of passion for helping people and I could have interviewed her for hours…..so I hope you take an hour to hear a tidbit of her story….and you will love her ‘WHY’, towards the end!

 

Transcript:

Super-Fast-Lane-Woman—Sara Hammel

[00:00:02] Welcome to Super Fast Lane Woman. This is the inaugural podcast for the Super Fast Lane Woman. Now Super Fast Lane Woman was originally created several years ago when I realized I personally didn’t fit into any certain box. I wasn’t just a stay at home mom. I wasn’t just a business owner. And I wasn’t just a wife or sister or a student. I wasn’t going to be just one thing. And I quickly realized that I didn’t have just one talent or specialty. I had many I didn’t want just one. And when I tried, I ended up falling short of what really let me up inside. So super fast. Lane woman was born, women wearing multiple hats, always going, going, going and having a hell of a story to tell and just living life in the fast lane. We are women and we have a lot to say. We have been through a lot and we can learn from one another. Women’s leadership can present itself through teenagers on up to grandmas. Each of us learns at a different pace in each life. Experience can help.

 

[00:01:09] Another fast, lean woman is here to help moms, sisters, teenagers, aspiring leaders, teachers, production workers.

 

[00:01:19] Literally anyone that calls themselves a woman be the best that they can be by loving who they are and who they are working to be in shining a light on all the things that make us live a life in the fast lane.

 

[00:01:34] It’s about helping each other grow by sharing our stories. You will hear stories of other women all working their way through the busyness and becoming successful in their own eyes. Listen to their stories and sit in the passenger seat of their ride. You may just learn something about yourself along the way. Now, today I have the privilege of interviewing my sister, Sara Hammel. She’s actually the first interviewee of the Super Fast Lane podcast. Sara is a wife mama for a woman’s boutique owner, speech language pathologist, homeschooling mom and public school mom. We’re gonna talk about that later. Middle child, wonderful aunt, sister and daughter, and a powerful influencer in our community. Welcome, Sara. Hello. Did I introduce you properly? Probably the nicest introduction I received. Thank you. Oh, good. So it’s very interesting, this first podcast being with my sister, because we were just talking about it when I came in here. How? It’s like we’re just having a conversation. So I feel like this is kind of not the best way to start my podcast because it’s so easy to talk to you, but it’s pretty easy to talk to you in general.

 

[00:02:54] So I feel Other people find that well and same for you as well. So people find you easy to talk to you.

 

[00:03:02] So in a nutshell. Sara, I want to start this off by you, just telling us a little bit about yourself and how you are super fast, lane woman. I mean, I think you kind of hit on a lot of the points in your introduction of me.

 

[00:03:19] I am a mom of for my kids a range in age from three to 10. I have a women’s clothing boutique that keeps me very busy. I just recently left my speech language pathology job, their career path that I had been on for the last 10 years to focus more on my clothing boutique and also being more present for my family. But in the prior years before this moment, I was doing what I had to do to make everything kind of align and work together. And I’ve been a woman that likes to think I can do everything.

 

[00:04:03] I feel like a lot of women do.

 

[00:04:06] I just turned thirty nine and I feel like I’m finally realizing I don’t have to do everything. So that’s kind of part of who I am, is realizing, knowing, I guess, that who we are is ever evolving.

 

[00:04:22] And so I don’t know that I think those are all accurate descriptors of me in the introduction of, you know, who I am on the cover or the surface. But I think as people get to know me as a person and I start to open up a little bit more, I think there’s multiple levels to all of it. And that’s kind of where I am.

 

[00:04:46] Very Cool.  And I think that too. And when I came in today, you had two girls shopping at your boutique.

 

[00:04:53] And that was one of the things as you were having a conversation with them is women are doing so many things. And we always say yes. And it’s just that learning how to not say yes and then creating our own boundaries and figuring out, you know, what we need to do for ourselves and for our families. And I think that’s important. And then just as a side note, your kids are in the background.

 

[00:05:20] Yes. Tell me a little bit about them before we get started.

 

[00:05:24] Like, tell me about your little ones in the background. So. Well, my kids get limited technology, actually.

 

[00:05:32] So they really only get technology one day a week unless they earn it going above and beyond their typical. Expectations of household responsibilities.

 

[00:05:42] That’s exactly what Evelyn said. I said is today Technology Day and she said, no, but we earned it.

 

[00:05:49] So today I knew we were doing this interview.

 

[00:05:51] So I thought, how can I get them to be occupied and not bother us? So I had them earn their technology time by cleaning extra that they don’t normally do her bag.

 

[00:06:04] And they are actually like to be a participant within a lot of my business. Even when I was working as a speech therapist, they’d be like, this would be a good toy for your students or can we help hang up clothes and stuff? They’re kind of I mean, they’re there. Why? I do all the things that I do anyway, right. So they’re pretty act. They have a pretty active role in it unless they’re driving me crazy.

 

[00:06:27] But I know that feeling.

 

[00:06:31] Well, as you all know, we are sisters and we grew up in the same house and we’re two and a half years apart. I think just about two and a half years apart. And we actually both went completely different routes after high school. And it’s interesting because I look back at it and I’m like, well, what was so different? But of course, we as people are different.

 

[00:06:56] But I want you to share your story a little bit about how life happened after high school, because, I mean, I went to college and I dropped out, got married, had kids and went back to school. But you took a very different approach. I would like you to describe that.

 

[00:07:14] So what I did after high school is I just started working well at all. I’d been working before that. But I moved out shortly after I turned 18 and graduated from high school, moved in with a boyfriend, actually, which was good for many reasons and other reasons not so much that will be a whole nother podcast.

 

[00:07:36] But what I was determined not to go to college right away, actually, because I had heard horror stories from, I guess me when I heard stories, but kind of how I interpreted them of people, you know, going to college, spending their four years, getting a bachelors degree and then getting out into the field of whatever their chosen career path and realizing they hated it and they shouldn’t have gone that route.

 

[00:08:01] And so I was determined to have a lot of different jobs before I went to college. If I chose to go to college so that I would have a better idea of where I wanted to really focus my chosen career path. So I worked. I waited tables, I cleaned hotel rooms. I I did substitute teaching.

 

[00:08:25] I was always involved with children in some way, shape or form. What else have I done? I worked at a movie store. I don’t even have them anymore. like Blockbuster me, like a mom and pop kind of place. I was an assistant manager there. I think they have movies or like Redbox or something or you buy it online. I really just wanted to kind of expand and try out a lot of different stuff so that I would really have a better idea of what I either did want to do or what I like totally did not want to do. Definitely don’t want to clean hotel rooms ever term. Right. But I do think that’s a really good job to start off, I think. Well, I every kid should have. Absolutely. And I think every person I think this is kind of going on a tangent. I think possibly. But that’s the reason I wanted to do all of those different kinds of jobs is because I also believe that all of our job experience, life experience, like you kind of mentioned in your intro, it leads us to who we are.

 

[00:09:31] And it gives us some background information. So I did. I worked at a call center for about six months. It was a horrible job. I hated it. But what I learned from that job was how not to be nasty to people on the phone when people called me and not that I ever was. But when people would call me and they’d tell me they were gonna throw their blank computer through my blanking window. And I was 19 years old. And these people are who knows where in the country, you know, like it’s an anonymous call center. They don’t know where they’re calling. It was pretty traumatic for me, actually. And I was like, I will never treat people that way. So when I’m on the phone with someone and not that I again like, not that I ever would treat someone that way, but it reminds me of what it feels like to be on the other end that’s here. And that was it’s gigantic and that goes across any career choice or just human choice. Right. So that was one of the things that I wanted.

 

[00:10:31] I like going back to like the whole, you know, how did I get where I am? That’s just like expanding your experience.

 

[00:10:38] Exactly. And I. That’s huge because I see that in my work, it’s I don’t know what’s going on in that person’s life that’s on the other end of the phone.

 

[00:10:48] But having the experience that you talked about, like learning that early on will really allow you to be able to interact with more people, different kinds of people in a way that allows more understanding and perception, totally, because I think that’s huge. Yeah.

 

[00:11:04] Well, what brought you to want to get your masters in speech language pathology?

 

[00:11:10] I was actually. So I had moved to New York with my then boyfriend. A different person than I school. I was 21 and I moved to north eastern New York. So not the city very far away from the city.

 

[00:11:25] And he basically told me that he didn’t care if I wanted to be a stay at home mom or not. That would be fine.

 

[00:11:31] But I had to have a college degree so that I wouldn’t. When my kids went back to school or went to school, I would not be. I would not feel like I had enough. Nothing. He wanted me to have something that I could fall back on, too. So I started out taking it. Just liberal arts, psychology kind of classes.

 

[00:11:52] Got my associate’s degree. We got married and during one of my associates degree classes was psychology class. I watched a video about a little girl who had a very, very traumatic early childhood and had no communication skills. And it was research they did on their therapeutic practices with her that I was like, I wanna do what they were doing. Wow. And it was incredibly powerful. And I knew that I wanted to work with kids, but I didn’t really know, too, in what capacity you like that I wanted a classroom teacher. Don’t be a daycare owner. What do I want to be? And I learned that it was the speech language pathologists. And it was incredibly powerful for me. So then I looked I got my associates degree. I looked at, you know, graduate courses or undergraduate courses for my bachelors, knowing that as a speech therapist, you have to get your master’s degree in order to have your national certification. So it was kind of a decision of either do I go into psychology or do I go in to communication disorders? And I chose to go into communication disorders and, you know, followed a graduate program two hours, three hours away from where we lived at the time. Right.

 

[00:13:02] And I’m reminded. Yeah, I remember having conversations with you commuting.

 

[00:13:06] I stayed at my in-laws for two years, two and a half years. Really? During the week. And I drive home.

 

[00:13:11] And that was before you were married to. We were married. We read about kids yet. We’ve got chess where it’d be way different. Oh, gosh. I don’t know what what would have you would like at. Yeah. It’s so hard to even fathom. What I think is very amazing about that story is the fact that there was one moment that was like the pivotal moment of like, that’s what I want to do. What’s going to drive? Yeah. And I feel that so often we as women, we do have all these hats and we feel like there isn’t going to be an epiphany that I just have to choose. But like, if you’re perceptive to it, there will be that moment and it maybe next week, maybe five years from now, it may take half your lifetime, but there will be like those pivotal moments. So they’ll be like, that’s what that is. What led me this. Exactly. Exactly. And I think it’s neat that you had that now. When you were in New York going through your masters, what was at the same time period that you were training for the marathon or was that.

 

[00:14:13] No, I I kind of forget about that. Oh, no, I don’t know. Was like a lifetime ago because it truly does. Yeah. Two thousand and.

 

[00:14:23] Well I graduated with my associates in two thousand five.

 

[00:14:29] So the thing the reason I wanted to bring up the marathon, it was around two thousand five or six. Well I came to visit you in New York. And I remember because I’ve I’ve always been athletic but here’s my sister who is not a runner. Yeah. Sara has never been a runner. So just going to visit her in New York and just seeing you training or you had just gotten done with the race or you were you were so tired. Yeah, I think I was leading up to it. Yeah. June and I graduated in May and I think it was. That’s what it was. Yeah. And I just I was blown away by how much drive you had for something that you’ve never done before. And that to me is huge. And I see it all the time. Like at some point next year, I want to run a triathlon. And I just see all these other women that they just put their mind to it. They’ve never done it before, but they have a goal. And you had a goal. And I’ve seen that more often than just the marathon time. But with when you were training for that, like it’s literally one of the hardest races someone can train for. And you decided time to do it.

 

[00:15:39] Finishing up my undergraduate program. What was the motivation behind that?

 

[00:15:44] Truthfully, I’ve always liked to challenge myself. And I think that I’ve also always. I mean, think about like my chosen career path. I want to help people. Like I’ve always wanted to find a way to help people.

 

[00:16:00] And so I at that point in my life, I was finishing up my grudge, my undergraduate program, my bachelors and I was working part time at like a little organic grocery store and which was like another one of those like who would have thought I’d be there.

 

[00:16:19] But I basically felt like I wasn’t helping anybody. And I was like, why? Like, I’d started running to be a to for health. Like I wanted to be healthier. And then I was like, I think I could do. I had heard about the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and I was like, well, I could run for other people and raise money and then do something good while I’m doing something good for myself at the same time. And like it’s a win win for everybody. And that was really that out. It was a little bit of outside motivation, you know, because I was doing it for other people, but also just wanted to see if I could also totally. I like to challenge myself. And I think that was definitely one of the things that still feels like. I don’t think I could run a marathon right now.

 

[00:17:06] I still like I don’t I don’t ever think I could.

 

[00:17:10] You know, you can, though. I just. The amount of training that went into it. Right. And I was I wasn’t I’m not a fast runner. I never have been. And I don’t expect myself ever to be because I’ve never been about speed. I’m just more about like the completion. Right. Getting it done. And I think, you know, I was running sometimes hours wise, like 15 hours a week of running, sometimes more, depending on how long my long run was. Right. It was a lot of time. Right now it doesn’t fit into your. Yeah. You couldn’t lifestyle right now. But it is. I’ve definitely thought about training for like half marathons.

 

[00:17:48] Well you might run in one of my legs if I do a group.

 

[00:17:53] I would do that. Yeah. Sara maybe a runner in a triathlon that I do next year that I would do.

 

[00:18:01] Well, you actually answered one of my questions because it wasn’t about like just, you know, running. It was about starting and finishing a goal. Yeah. You had. Yeah. And that’s huge, I think.

 

[00:18:13] I think it’s really important for people to do that in and of itself. Like we have all these ideas in our heads of, you know, I would love to have this or do this kind of random things or whatever is important to you. But it’s like putting one foot in front of the other and making it happen. Like you had just like sit there and say, I want to be a stay at home mom, like I like for me. And I don’t know if this kind of segue was into what other questions you might have, but like my goal when I was younger was to be a stay at home mom.

 

[00:18:49] And I had to figure out like, how can all of the things align? Right. Because I also have a good brain and I want to do things with my brain. And I like learning and I like helping people in like, how can I do all of those things that bring happiness at the same time?

 

[00:19:04] It’s hard. It’s hard and not easy. But happy doesn’t have to be easy. Happy can be lots of complicated things at the same time. And I think, you know, just.

 

[00:19:15] Really setting yourself up for that mindset of like, I’m going to do what I need to do to be successful in whatever that is for you.

 

[00:19:23] Like I my goal when I ran that marathon was not to be fast. My goal was not to run a 10 minute mile or eight minute mile or anything like that. My goal was I’m going to run twenty six point two miles. And I’m not going to stop. That was my goal, like to not stop. And I have to say, I had to pee a couple of times.

 

[00:19:42] That’s a really. But I don’t know that. But I don’t know that that counts as stopping. No, I didn’t quit.

 

[00:19:49] And that was you know, I think that’s it’s easy to get side tracked and derailed from what our goals are when we’re not just putting one foot in front of the other or even what I’ve often seen even in myself.

 

[00:20:03] Is that you start something and then it actually fails. Yeah. And that can be heart wrenching and hard. I mean, I I literally closed down a company in order to transition to something else. And there was a period of time where I literally was thinking like, I am a complete failure. I just. But. But then after I realized, like what I was transitioning to, it wasn’t a failure anymore.

 

[00:20:33] And and that’s okay, because you you may be going through something where you’re literally like, I just started something or I just started five things and I can only finish one. And I have to put these other four things to the side. That doesn’t mean you failed them. And actually, you may never go back to them again, but just keep moving forward. Just having those steps forward. You may start an idea on a business and then the idea completely changes, evolves. And and that’s OK. But I think just being open to.

 

[00:21:08] The thought in the idea of just continuing to move forward, and I think that is a huge thing.

 

[00:21:16] And then so when you did your marathon and which I still think is amazing and and actually just two days ago I was talking to you about running it. Doing a triathlon in your you gave you said something in your message to me was like, I know it’s gonna be hard for you, Maria, but you like to finish things and you you’ll do it.

 

[00:21:39] Oh, yeah, you can.

 

[00:21:41] Do you you do things that you set your mind to?

 

[00:21:43] Totally. And I just I I think sometimes we forget about that. And it could be a day. We forget about it. It could be a week. It could be just a moment. And so people like you encourage you’re very encouraging.

 

[00:21:54] So thank you. I’m not going to probably run a marathon, but I’m going to triathlon. I don’t know why, but I would rather bike as well now. So you lived in New York for how long?

 

[00:22:08] Thirteen years. Thirteen years. So I just won a Segway a little bit. When Sara and I were in high school, we did not like each other. It wasn’t until you actually moved to New York that we actually became friends. I feel like high school is really tough. And then, well, you’re just like my annoying little sitter.

 

[00:22:28] I know.

 

[00:22:30] I know. Yeah, I was probably very annoying, but I think there was three times that I visited you in New York and I missed you a lot. And so when you actually , I remember, the conversations we had leading up to you guys moving to Montana.

 

[00:22:46] My heart was just so full because I was like, oh, my gosh, this could totally happen. And again, that’s a whole nother story.

 

[00:22:54] Yeah. But now that all about.

 

[00:22:56] But I’m we’re going to talk a little bit about it, because the way that that all unfolded was was amazing. Like Kevin and I had things we had to do here to help you guys. Like, we had to make sure that we could move a family of five at the time and to help everybody out.

 

[00:23:13] So with that transition has a huge life change.  In that moment, How did it affect you?

 

[00:23:23] Oh, it was incredibly stressful. I mean, we had a house in New York that we’d purchased. Thinking it would be our forever home. We brought three of our four children home to that house. I assumed that they would grow up there, you know, and it was a great little community that we lived in. But, you know, a lot of circumstances occurred.

 

[00:23:44] The factory that a house that employed like I don’t know, I want to say like two thousand people. So a big number that was in our town sold to overseas manufacturing and everybody lost their jobs.

 

[00:23:59] We worked in the school system and year after year, they kept cutting teachers because the students weren’t there anymore, because their parents weren’t working there. And my husband’s job position at the school that he’d been at for 11 years, assuming he’d retire there was cut at that point. It kind of came up with some plans. And then two years later, my position was potentially put up as a speech therapist. And at that point, my husband and I were like, why are we here? You know, we’re here because of our jobs. Honestly, we’d always dreamed of coming back to Montana. Being closer to our family, being closer to things that we enjoy doing more, being outdoors and just kind of having that access to the that sort of experience. And we didn’t think we’d be able to do it, though, because it the the pay in Montana is definitely not in other parts of the country.

 

[00:24:58] So, you know, and in fact, Al didn’t have a job when we came back here. When we when we made the decision that we looked at lots of different places. We looked at Florida, we looked at Alaska. We looked at Wisconsin. I mean, we really looked at, you know, where could we relocate?

 

[00:25:13] So you didn’t tell me that? I thought you were gonna know go before we made this?

 

[00:25:19] I think it was before, like we really solidified a brand of like, if this happens, we really did look to see, you know, where could we go? That was centrally located because all of Al’s family is on the East Coast and ours is on the West Coast. And could we that’s all we picked, like Minnesota, Wisconsin, where we’re like we’re kind of like, yeah, sure, the weather is similar. You know, we can go hunting and fishing and all those things that, you know, we like to do outside. But there were a lot of kind of I want to say like serendipitous things that occurred in order to actually make it happen.

 

[00:25:55] And I was able to find a position as a speech therapist. And my mom our mom was able to watch my event at the time while she watched Kelen and Evelin, I think for a year.

 

[00:26:11] You know, she came in every day while I went to work and we lived in your apartment. And, you know, Al had like 50 different.

 

[00:26:22] Yeah.

 

[00:26:24] But we just kind of hustled and we made it work. And like, honestly, I don’t know what made us. We question the whole time. Is this the right thing? Are we making the right decision? It was big. We are relieving a place that we’d known as our home and built a life there. Friends, family, that kind of thing.

 

[00:26:42] And it wasn’t until our now eight year old struggled in school at his preschool. And we knew that he’d always had like some sort of anxiety and stress about things. But it wasn’t until we actually were faced with the decision about pulling him out of his preschool program. And me ask. That’s what happened as I asked mom if she would help because he had he has generalized anxiety disorder. And it wasn’t until mom was able to I knew mom could watch help watch him. And we were able to get assistance from different counselor and a therapist and all that.

 

[00:27:23] And we were like, if we had if we were in New York, this wouldn’t have happened. Right. In the sense that we wouldn’t have had a place for him to be. That was a good spot. Right. We would not have had that family support, because even though Ali’s family is on the East Coast, they’re hours away from us. We’re here. You know, it was very close. You know, within 30 minutes, kind of anywhere we go. So while it was really scary and we didn’t know what we were going to do and how it was going to all work, because we had a lot of unopened unanswered questions when we finally made the decision to move back it. If we didn’t do that and we didn’t, we would have always wondered, too. You know.

 

[00:28:05] Well, and I actually you started going into a question that I was going to ask you about, because I think that’s an important part of your story, too, is the fact that, OK, you have four kids. You’ve got two now. Everyone is in kindergarten. You have two now that are in public school. And then now you have Kelin, who is home schooled, and I know that was a very dramatic thing. Do you?

 

[00:28:29] I would say traumatic and actually, you know, a lot of your friends and a lot of people that follow you on social media.

 

[00:28:36] They know that story. But do you want to touch a little bit on that? Because I think that is an important piece of, I guess without getting into too too much trauma.

 

[00:28:49] But just kind of a little tidbit of now your school mom. And that was totally not your plan, ever.

 

[00:28:54] My plan. So I did mention Kellan has generalized anxiety disorder. And so what that means for us, what it looks like for us and it’s certainly shaped change shapes over the course of the last several years. But what it started out with was, you know, it would be to our melt down about stuff that seems crazy and ridiculous. But he. His brain could not. Rationalize a.. He hated it. He would cry. I don’t know why my brain thinks this way. This is our four year old telling us this. I don’t like feeling this way. I hear he struggled a lot with transitions. So going.

 

[00:29:42] Not being able to finish something to completion and then having to transition to something else were really hard for him. He used to chew his fingernails down till a blood. We had to get, you know, a variety of kind of chew jewelry like necklaces and things that he could chew on to try to remedy that situation because it’s not good for him. He struggled at preschool with a lot of the inconsistent kind of day to day experience he had there. And so then I knew him going into kindergarten was going to be difficult. So we had him evaluated because I knew that as a speech therapist, I get the special education system and I knew that he was going to need help just to navigate a day because he’s incredibly intelligent. But if he felt in his head that he wasn’t capable of doing something perfectly, he would not he could not do it. He like he actually was incapable of completing something. It was hard. It was really, really hard. We had him evaluated and he’s qualified for services.

 

[00:30:49] And his kindergarten year, you know, was hard at times. There were lots of crying, had meetings. And let’s try this.

 

[00:30:58] And what if we have him work in smaller groups because there’s less pressure and stress on him to perform to the certain level. And so he went all through kindergarten. He did well all through kindergarten. And like I said, it was a little bit of a struggle at first, but he had an amazing team that really tried to figure out like, how can we help him be successful in the classroom? And it was like I said, it was hard. And there was there were a lot of tears, but it was successful.

 

[00:31:23] And we were really wild about him going to first grade and how it was a different thing. Well, and then you had a new baby.

 

[00:31:31] Yeah. Actually, while I was pregnant with her through his kindergarten year and then I had no. How old is she? She’s three. She’s three. Yeah. So he would have been five. Oh yeah. So I did how she was like a baby. So then first grade came along. First grade was horrible. How far into first grade did you guys plan?

 

[00:31:56] Well, you know, honestly, we didn’t know there was a problem. We do know that things that he wasn’t being successful in school, that he was having a hard time transitioning and that until like November and.

 

[00:32:09] Things his plans weren’t being followed. He had reduced services to like three check-ins a day where they would take him out for a. It was supposed to be they take him out for like 10 minutes. Work on relaxation and focusing mindfulness kind of activities is really where he was at at that spot. But he really needed those breaks and he needed them kind of around transition period so he could be ready for the next part of the day.

 

[00:32:35] And it wasn’t until right after Christmas. So we had all these plans into place. In fact, we at one point he had been on in kindergarten. We also actually put him on a medication to try to alleviate the his brain working at warp speed and kind of slowing it down because he had all the strategies that he’d been learning. He could tell you everything that he was supposed to do, but he couldn’t actually do it in the middle of a meltdown or even like to stop a meltdown. And we’d put on medication, which did seem to make a really big difference. And by that following Christmas time, it was just hard. Holidays are really hard if you have somebody with any kind of emotional disregulation ability. He struggled with holidays to begin with and classrooms were very and. What’s the word I’m looking for like? Unpredictable, you know, things are different, it’s it’s different ’cause there’s like holiday programs and there’s no schedules. Yeah. Yeah. And that was really hard for him. And in January it was like this first week of January, he had a complete and utter meltdown. And it was awful. I mean, at one point.

 

[00:33:51] There were teachers making really poor choices that we later learned about teachers. And I’m an advocate of teachers. So it was really heartbreaking also to experience it as a professional and not just as a mom, but it was just not a safe and healthy environment for him and he didn’t feel that way. And so on Friday, we got a phone call that Kelen had been running around the school. And it’s like the worst kind of phone call that you get.

 

[00:34:19] I mean. Right. And, you know, one of your children dying, I think would be certainly worse. Right. But when your child is going to school and you get a phone call from the principal saying you need to come get your child, because he is completely uncontrollable and it’s scary. It’s scary.

 

[00:34:35] And also, I mean, like the amount of this could be a complete other talk, but the amount of thoughts that run through your mind as a parents and the kinds of thoughts that run through your mind as a parent when you get a phone call like that are thoughts that you like. Don’t ever wish on anyone to. Right.

 

[00:34:53] And because you think the worst things are, you know, everything. Yeah, for sure.

 

[00:34:58] And, you know, long story shorter on that Friday when we got the phone call me picked him up. We knew that this was not a good, healthy environment for him and that it was he was not going to be successful because people couldn’t stop what they were doing. And, you know, just checking on him the way that we knew he needed. Right. And at the same time, we had just been looking at some allergy testing and we’ve been working on weaning him off of the medication that he’d been on because we thought maybe we’d hit a point that it was actually more harmful than helpful.

 

[00:35:33] So there were kind of. It was probably like the perfect storm of stuff to just happen that stunk. But on a Friday, we pulled him out of school. He he actually got suspended from school.

 

[00:35:47] And that was awful. And that kid. No.

 

[00:35:50] And then and he even really remember what had happened. Because I think his brain would just kind of shut off and he didn’t even know. And by Monday, we were like, well, or by Sunday, actually, we were gonna meet on Monday with the school.

 

[00:36:05] And on Sunday we were like, can I home school? And I was working two days a week as a speech therapist. I had my clothing boutique that I was doing kind of on to something that kind of definitely on the side. And we had a baby still. She wasn’t even a year old at that point. And yet it was never in my mind that I was ever going to home school. I was very worried about. And this is truth. I was worried about what people were gonna think.

 

[00:36:34] I was all we were already worried about what people would think because we knew that our child was different than other people’s moods.

 

[00:36:41] With that fight, like you obviously feel like people were judging you. Mm hmm. And and they could have been or could have not been.

 

[00:36:50] I’m sure somebody did it. We definitely got some like outward.

 

[00:36:56] So now that you’ve gone through that experience and how you’ve been homeschooling now for a year and a half to we’ll see who’s in first grade, who’s in third grade now. OK, so two and a half years, roughly. So those people who gave you that negative judgment, what would you tell them now? Now that you’ve gone through that moment and they’re judging you, like, is there one to two sentences that you would say in response to somebody?

 

[00:37:26] You know what I say, we all make choices and decisions that we believe at the time are the best choices and decisions that we could be making for our families and whether they’re right or whether they’re wrong. We all do what we have to do in order to make our lives successful and our lives include our children’s lives. Right? Exactly.

 

[00:37:51] I love that. I’m going to quote that. That’s true. It’s true, though.

 

[00:37:55] You know, like, we’re all doing the best we can. And I wouldn’t change it. Like I would never go back on our decision to homeschool him. I think it has been the absolute best decision for him. He thrives. He has built a community of friends through the home school community. It is absolutely not the right thing for my 10 year old or my 5 year old. Could we do it? Sure we could. I think our 10 year old would be angry at us because he really likes the public right experience. But it’s also, you know, that reminder that not everybody nothing is made for everyone. Right. Right. Nothing is designed for every single person. And so I would do it again without even thinking. Right. And at the time, we were kind of like just as long as my mom can watch them the two days a week that I work and she’s OK with that. Then we’re gonna do it like you’re like minute good team effort. It has. Has been I mean, I certainly it’s one of those like it takes a village kind of thing. I think we forget that sometimes because we’re also isolated and busy in our own kind of life experiences. Like it really does take a village. And I couldn’t do. I had people ask me all the time, like, how do you. I don’t know how you do all the things that you do. Well, I certainly don’t do it by myself.

 

[00:39:10] Right. It might look like they do, but I try not to make it look like I do because I don’t like.

 

[00:39:16] Right. You know, even when we even when I think I do try to do everything myself, I still have this gigantic village. I was just telling you about how like Al makes dinner. You know, when I was working two days a week and running my boutique and home schooling and trying to mom my other three kids, like I didn’t make dinner, she cooked it because I couldn’t. Look, I just I couldn’t. And he. He’s part of our village. And, you know, he stepped up. And I know that’s not something that all men like to do. He likes to cook. I’m really lucky.

 

[00:39:51] He is a good guy.

 

[00:39:53] But and my mom coming in and helping or other family members or friends and stepping in when we need them is like learning how to ask for help. We were. We felt like we were drowning and we had to ask for help.

 

[00:40:06] And I think to as women and mom and moms and business owners, like we are leaders. And as a leader, you have to delegate. And that delegation, when you’re with what you’re talking about, is really asking for help. Yeah. Because we can’t take it all on. No way. No. And I tried to write.

 

[00:40:29] Either way, it doesn’t work. Yeah, that that doesn’t work. You know, it really it takes us.

 

[00:40:38] We need to ask for help. We need to recognize the fact that it doesn’t make us weak. If we do that, it actually makes us stronger knowing that we know what our limitations are and we know ourselves. And I think that is critical for us to be able to just kind of live the lives that we’re meant to be living.

 

[00:40:55] Right. And I don’t think we’re meant to be living miserable, ragged lives. I think that we are meant to be living, you know, truly and wholly as the people that we aspire to be. And while things can be hard and things can be tough and it’s not always easy delegating and not easy asking for help like it truly is a sign of power and empowerment when you can say, you know what I need, yeah, I cannot do this by myself.

 

[00:41:26] And the other thing, too, is sometimes the people that we do ask, they are not in the right place to help you. And we have to be okay with that. And then ask somebody else if you need to. Like not everybody is is ready to help. Right. And we have to be OK with that.

 

[00:41:42] I think it’s I think that also kind of goes into like knowing also that when you need to say no. Right. Exactly. You know, I think there is this isn’t even a fine line.

 

[00:41:53] It’s just it’s that understanding of, you know, I will do what I can to help you and be a part of whatever your experience is. So long as it doesn’t take away from my own experience. Right. And if I’m it’s kind of what’s that lady that does the organization? Marie Kondo is her name. She just like if it doesn’t bring you joy.

 

[00:42:15] Oh, yeah, kind of.

 

[00:42:17] But like, I kind of think that’s a legit concept because I like I truly love helping people. Every job I’ve ever had has been I mean, I really think about it has been customer service based. Even as a speech therapist. Right. I help I’m helping somebody in nice that they’re my clients or my students were my customers, too, you know what I mean, right?

 

[00:42:42] Well, look, super super-fast lane woman like I started that in order to help other people. But I think my initial website was started back in 2014, 2015 me. And then last year when we were speaking last November, which I have that video, I’m actually going to cut that and get that on the Web. But we we were talking about, you know, doing a podcast and it took me another year like it every moment that we have these ideas there. It’s great. But sometimes the moment is not right at that moment. And we just do have to shelve things and we do have to say no to things. And at the time we’ll be right.

 

[00:43:25] And I think that’s also kind of remembering like maybe like timing.

 

[00:43:31] Is it’s not like this set in stone sort of gray. You get the ball rolling for something and it might happen quickly or it might take five years before it comes to fruition. But I think it’s like that seed planting and you have to get started. Yeah, yeah. I think I think it even begins with just like making that thought like having that thought of. I’m going to do this or I’m going to be this kind of person or, you know, framing it that way and kind of telling ourselves that. And I think we start to believe what we tell ourselves, which is also why you like practicing that gratitude.

 

[00:44:08] But daily gratitude. And that goes back. My ego doing no good. I’ve been doing that with Abby. I need to start with Jack. But even we all say, OK, what our new New Year’s resolutions like, that’s that’s B.S. because you’re never going to make that New Year’s resolution. If you’re like, I’m gonna wait till the first of the year.

 

[00:44:26] No. You have to start that always.

 

[00:44:28] We’re not always successful and we start now. Right. And successful is like such a vague term in the sense that it means something different for every person and for every situation, like the fact that I was eating tortilla chips. Like there’s no tomorrow at night at eleven o’clock when I was staying up late, after all, my kids went to bed and I got my work time. I said, nope, I’m done doing that. I’m not eating tortilla chips.

 

[00:44:52] Even if you have to throw away the bag. Right.

 

[00:44:55] It’s like one of those things in my house that I should not have because I just want to eat a meal. And I was successful in the sense that for a month I did not have them. I wanted them, but that not having them was great. And then I had we had pizza and it was taco pizza. I know this is gonna be really good.

 

[00:45:18] Like I’ve been wanting this.

 

[00:45:19] Like I haven’t had a pizza since we were kids. And I bought it, cooked it, took a bite out of it.

 

[00:45:26] And I was like, oh, shit. Do you have chips on it? I’m still successful. Yes. You know what I mean? Like a little silly like that.

 

[00:45:34] But it’s not. I think it’s important for us to remember that, you know, getting the ball rolling. So you have to, like work for your goals and you have to. You actually have to do something. You can’t just sit there. But I also think it’s warranted to remind ourselves that it’s OK to put the thought out there and let it kind of ruminate a little bit and steep like a really good tee or something tactically, because sometimes we have to process things that are ahead and like really work things out.

 

[00:46:03] And then when you get like that in your gut, like, I just need to go for it kind of thing. And it’s scary and it might not be successful and it might it might not make you money or friends or whatever it is that you look back to that new car you want whatever.

 

[00:46:19] But you have to try it anyway. Totally. Then you just need to do it right. That’s like it’s. And I think we have to listen to our side.

 

[00:46:24] Oh, yeah. You know, feel it inside. You should probably do it. Yeah. Yeah.

 

[00:46:28] Like we know in our head, we know what we want to do and where we want to be and who we want to be.

 

[00:46:33] Well, and that we’re afraid of it totally. And that brings me up to your boutique. Like your boutique has, like you’re an influencer, like you may not realize it, but like people talk about you all the time in a good way.

 

[00:46:49] In a good way, because you have.

 

[00:46:52] I mean, we’re sitting in the Lula room right now as we record this. And literally like there is dresses, shirts, leggings, jeans, jewelry. I mean, you have this space that people feel comfortable coming to. And it’s not just about clothes. It’s about helping women feel good about themselves. Yeah. Yeah. I want you to tell me how that came to be.

 

[00:47:19] You know, honestly, it came to be because. Well, it’s kind of funny. I was pregnant with Lilian, who was my unexpected surprise baby that took me six months to be okay with the fact that I was having baby number four. She’s been the perfect addition as a side.

 

[00:47:32] Now, I just have to say this, growing up and this is as deep as I’ll get in our sister relationship. Sara always said that my oldest brother was an accident and that the youngest, which is me, was an accident and that her and my other brother Mike were planned.

 

[00:47:50] The only planned ones. So I knew I knew Sara had it coming when she.

 

[00:47:56] had the unplanned. And she’s amazing. She is definitely amazing by you. You deserved that. OK? We’ve gotta get going..

 

[00:48:08] I was pregnant with Lillian and Lularoe clothing had just kind of started to really take off and I had been invited to a bunch of different parties. And when I got a pair of leggings and a shirt and I was like, all these would be perfect for my pregnancy. They were really comfortable. And I’m not Trying to this as a plug or anything. Like really?

 

[00:48:27] Just a sidenote.

 

[00:48:30] I know that it’s really what happened because I didn’t expect this the way it is now, but I ended up a nurse, nurse to her baby sitting on the couch after I had her and I’d be wearing my comfy clothes and commenting sold on all these different outfits like, oh, how much money I’ve just forked over right now. So I talked to my husband and I was like, I really think that I could do this to supplement our income. Women are like loving the way they feel in these clothes. They like it. They like I think I could. I really think I could do it. And I could do it around. Having a brand new baby at 12 weeks old and having Kellen homeschooled at the time, but having three other kids and working a couple days a week. And I could really I could I could make it work. And so we invested and really long story short, what I ended up being is that I really love what I’m doing right now, selling clothes, because it is so much more than selling clothes. It has turned into really a relationship building.

 

[00:49:35] Kind of business. The conversations and the type of people that I met, I’ve met do were never things that I thought would ever cross my path or people that I thought would cross my path. I am able to be home. I’m a like if I didn’t have this business, I don’t know how we would support ourselves financially. With me being able to only work a couple days a week outside the house. It really started out in a little walk in closet with clothes, hung up on hangers and people, you know, when they come over, I sold online. They’d be like back to back, but to butt in my little closet shopping for clothes.

 

[00:50:20] But it was so intimate and so authentic and so powerful to see people try something on and come out. And I was like, it is not just clothes. Like, they feel pretty and beautiful. And I had you know, I’ve had four kids.

 

[00:50:40] And it was the first time after having a baby that I actually felt pretty and put together like not that I was just like wearing pajamas. Right. They feel sometimes like crazy because they’re so soft. But I could throw on a dress and a pair of leggings, pair of shoes and throw on a pair of earrings. And I was like, oh, I look really good for having had a baby 12 weeks ago. You know, and I wanted other women to have that kind of feeling.

 

[00:51:08] So and I’ve been here at some of those events where women are trying on stuff and I can see it in their faces.

 

[00:51:16] They’re like how I actually look good enough that they don’t look good. But you can put that on them. Yeah. And confident. And then, you know, they’ll walk out of the dressing room and they’ll be like, not so much.

 

[00:51:27] And I can like I can literally at this point tell that they should not purchase that. Right. Right. You know what? You’re right. That is not gonna be something you’re gonna wear. Hang it back up. Somebody else will love it. But that’s not for you. Let’s try something else. You know what? I want it to be like a place where people come and this is my online community and my business feel like I want it to be a place where people come to connect more than buy clothes. I mean, certainly I I would love if you buy clothes, but I love even more. The way that people help each other feel about themselves. Right. I think that’s what’s most definitely what drives me.

 

[00:52:05] Well, and then explain the name, because you you sellew the row, but your boutique is always be boutique. How did you come up with that?

 

[00:52:15] Through your process of deciding what I wanted.

 

[00:52:18] I really wanted a business name that would encompass what I was trying to portray.

 

[00:52:23] And I what I want to portray is a woman to be herself, be empowered as who she is. Be in love with who she is. And if and if you’re a work in progress, which, by the way, every single one of us is a work in progress. Like be okay with the fact that you are a work in progress and you can still love yourself is who you are. And you can feel empowered and you can feel like you are a part of something bigger than yourself.

 

[00:52:52] And I I wanted a name that kind of, you know, not that signified that that really solidified. This is the message I’m trying to to portray so that when a woman comes into my boutique or she shops on line with me or she meets me on the street and just starts chatting, that she knows she can always be right. I love it. And that that is huge for me. That’s scary.

 

[00:53:18] I love it. When when we were going through some of the design stuff, I was like, this is so Sara.

 

[00:53:24] So, you know, it’s just to somewhat wrap this up like we can. Literally talk forever. But I do want to ask you quickly, just a couple. These are those are the long question. OK. For these are the like. Let’s go like let’s let’s do spitfire. All. Tell me what you got. Rapid Fire. What is something you failed that.

 

[00:53:49] What is something? I feel that. Oh, gosh.

 

[00:53:53] This is like actually harder. I feel that lots of things. I think I failed. It’s. I don’t know, I don’t feel anything. I feel like I can’t think of a specific example like I failed math when I was in high school. OK. I often feel like a failure as a mom. Right.

 

[00:54:17] I don’t know that. I don’t think that I actually am when I really sit down and think about it. I definitely failed math when I was in high school. I have had lots of failed relationships.

 

[00:54:32] Ok. Now, the flip side of that. What do you feel is your proudest moment? My proudest moments my proudest moment is probably might sound funny, but when my kids talk to me about things that are hard topics.

 

[00:54:51] Yes. And uncomfortable topics for me and for them. Right.

 

[00:54:57] But they come to me and they talk about it that I know that I’ve done something right.

 

[00:55:02] And I love something. Right. That’s huge. Now, is there anything you’ve ever wanted to tell me that you haven’t?

 

[00:55:11] Are you serious? That’s your question. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to tell you.

 

[00:55:19] We probably blamed you for stuff when we were little, though. Yes.

 

[00:55:25] I never wanted to tell you.

 

[00:55:28] I don’t know. I feel like we’re pretty open. Yeah, I agree. Okay.

 

[00:55:35] Well, this is I don’t know if you wrote a blog post about your bulimia. This is kind of flipping it back on you. And the comment about I get emotional right now.

 

[00:55:51] You talked about how like people question if you go to the bathroom and you throw up and you wonder if they wonder if that’s what you’re gonna do.

 

[00:56:03] So I’m sorry. You asked and I’m telling you.

 

[00:56:08] I’ve definitely thought that I would say not so much recently, but like in the not too distant past within the last probably five years, I wondered.

 

[00:56:21] And I know I am glad you said that. So I’m telling you, I don’t think I wonder that now. That’s why I asked the question to see, because I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth. And that’s okay.

 

[00:56:31] I’m just being honest. And it’s hard, I think, with anyone who who has addictions and problems. You feel like you’ve kind, you’ve overcome it.

 

[00:56:43] But then like, there is still that judgment. And it’s it’s natural. It’s totally natural. And I’m I’m not like mad at that because it’s a natural reaction like us as human beings.

 

[00:56:55] I know. I never thought I was actually gonna tell you that, though.

 

[00:56:58] Well, there you go, that’s why I asked the question.

 

[00:57:01] I don’t feel that way now. So I want that to be known. Like, I don’t question. Right. That you’re in a completely different mental state or at that time.

 

[00:57:11] And I think it’s huge, though, for you to tell me that. And that’s the transparency that why we’re here. Why? Why? You rock. And that’s why I wanted to talk to you.

 

[00:57:26] I feel like you tricked me into that. I did not, You approved this. OK.

 

[00:57:35] What is the biggest struggle.  What was your biggest struggle growing up and how do you feel it has defined you today?

 

[00:57:43] My biggest struggle growing, growing up, even light from yesterday. Right. I’m like. Birth to now. Yeah. Experience.

 

[00:57:53] I think my biggest struggle has always been worrying about what other people think.

 

[00:58:00] And I try really hard at this stage of my life to not worry about what other people think.

 

[00:58:07] But I also, like you said, I am an influencer. And I don’t know I don’t know how big my influences. But I think that I do influence some people. And it’s a very tricky role for me sometimes because I try to be a really authentic person. I mean, I just told you something that I didn’t think that I was ever going to say to you. Anyway, I think there’s like this hard balance between, you know, wanting critique, because I think when you get positive criticism and positive. I don’t mean positive like, oh, you’re awesome. But I mean, like, you know, a constructive criticism that helps you do something better than you’ve done it before, I think is really helpful. But I also think we can start to focus on like, well, what does everybody else think about me? And if I do, you know, if I act this way or I say this thing, are am I going to stop having people shop with me because my opinion is different than theirs? Or, you know, I like the fact that I have a child who has anxiety. And some people don’t think that mental illness is a real thing and especially not anxiety like they you know, it’s not it’s not a real thing or you don’t. How how are we doing to handle things and how we’ve learned our skills and strategies or I mean, if there’s anything I like, I’ve it’s this constant struggle for me to to kind of take what people say and think and feel and use it as a tool rather than like to sit and dwell on it for too long, because I really do think it’s important to be ourselves.

 

[00:59:55] Ok. Last question, Sara. And one to two sentences or three, you know, I like to talk. I know. What is your why?

 

[01:00:07] The very short answer is for my kids. That’s the very short answer.

 

[01:00:13] But when I delve a little bit deeper, it is for my kids, but also to empower women to be who they are, to be loved as who they are by themselves and for themselves, so that we can all work together and uplift and empower one another. And I think that translates into showing my kids that they care about people that they want to be.

 

[01:00:44] And then there’s real reporting.

 

[01:00:48] Well, Sara, your kids are obviously ready to have you hang out with them.

 

[01:00:53] I just want to say thank you again for doing this with me. I’m super excited to see. I look forward to seeing, you know, where this goes. Then. Participating in the future. Super-fast Lane Woman. I love it.